Willie Waffle

Going The Distance is such a dirty little tease.  It wants to get my attention and win me over with its constant references to 80's movies and music just like Katy Perry "just happens" to lean over in front of the TV camera while barely wearing a top that covers only 25% of her bodacious body.  And, I can't look away.  What a tart!  

Drew Barrymore (another reason I cannot look away) stars as Erin - an intern who dreams of becoming a newspaper reporter.  She's spending the summer in NYC, but meets the perfect guy, Garrett (Justin Long), just a few weeks before heading home to California.  The two decide they'll just go with the flow and keep it light, but, upon parting, decide to make a go of having a long distance relationship.  

Can Garrett and Erin keep the flames of passion alive across the country and three different time zones?

Couldn't they give the character a better name than Garrett?

It started off as the greatest faux trailer on the planet when co-writer/co-director Robert Rodriguez contributed Machete to Quentin Tarantino's Grindhouse.  Crowds cheered and laughed.  We all walked out thinking this would be a great movie if they decided to make it, and they did!  OK.  It turns out it's not great, but it is good.  

Danny Trejo stars as Machete - a former Mexican Federale who saw his family killed in front him by his arch nemesis and Mexico's leading crime lord, Torrez (Steven Seagal).  Left for dead, Machete crosses the border and gets hired to assassinate a Texas State Senator, John McLaughlin (Robert DeNiro), running on an anti-illegal immigration platform.  Of course, it turns out to be a double cross, and Machete wants revenge on those who have wronged him.

Will Machete find the people responsible?

What grand conspiracy is he about to uncover?

What's a bigger deal to us DC folks?  Transformers 3 shooting for 3 days on The Mall (and the possibility Abraham Lincoln is an Autobot?), or George Clooney directing Farragut North?  DC Ladies, let the swooning commence! 

Cinematical is reporting Clooney will start shooting the movie next February in hopes of getting it into theaters by Fall 2011.  Farragut North, the story of an idealistic campaign worker who gets sickened by the system, is set to star Paul Giamatti and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

If you believe the Hollywood spinmeisters, this was the best summer movie season ever! 

Disney has become the first studio to release two $1 Billion movies in one year (Alice in Wonderland and Toy Story 3). 

Box office take was $4.35 Billion for the summer, up 2.4% from last year, and setting a record.  However, the money lies.

I know many people think George Clooney is a walking talking special effect all by himself, but we need more than his bare chest and rugged jaw to make The American interesting.

Clooney stars as Jack - an assassin on the run.  His boss, Pavel (Johan Leysen), has sent him to a remote Italian town where he can quietly build a specialized rifle to be used by another hitwoman, Mathilde (Thekla Reuten).  However, Jack's life gets complicated as he befriends a local priest (Paolo Bonacelli), develops a relationship with a lady of the evening, Clara (Violante "the woman who makes me want to learn Italian" Placido), and finds himself consumed by paranoia and fear thinking danger is around every corner.  

Will Jack be able to stay safe?

Can he escape this life for a better one?

Is it just me, or is Morning Glory attempting to be this generation's Broadcast News?

Rachel McAdams seems to have the Holly Hunter role down cold, but I am worried about Harrison Ford. Is he overdoing it early on, but delivering the dramatic goods late? Will he get an Oscar for Best Hair?

What do we think? Oscar material? Date night material? Not-even-on-DVD material?

No, we're not talking about the refreshing caffeinated drink in that oh so sexy curvy bottle. 

We're talking about the nose candy.  Blow.  Snow.  The Powder.

In a scene straight out of a Cheech and Chong movie, Hilton and her boyfriend, Cy Waits, were driving down the Vegas strip Friday night in a black Escalade, when a police officer noticed smoke "wafting" out of the windows.

The office pulled them over, noticed the distinct smell of marijuana, and conducted a standard check for driving while intoxicated as well as searching both Waits and Hilton.

According to TMZ.com, Hilton and Waits were taken into the Wynn Hotel at Paris's request, since so many people and paparazzi were gathering around.  When she reached into a purse to remove lip balm, a packet of cocaine fell out in front of the officers. 

Waits was arrested on a DUI charge.  Hilton was arrested for possession of a controlled substance. 

Here's where it gets interesting.  Hilton may be claiming the purse wasn't hers! (Paris, if it wasn't your purse, why were you looking through it for your lip balm?)

You might remember, that was the same defense she used when arrested in South Africa during the World Cup for pot possession. 

Then, shortly afterwards, she was allegedly arrested in France with pot.  

And, let's not forget.  Paris Hilton is an ex-con who spent time in jail in 2007 for violating her probation for a DUI charge. 

Anybody else starting to get the feeling Paris needs to start taking the law a bit more seriously?  Seriously, how many times do you have to be arrested before you realize your life is going down the wrong path?  It's time for a judge to throw the book at Paris.  Prosecute her to the fullest extent of the law.  She had her mistake back in 2007.  Now, it's time to realize she has no concern for the law. 

If you watch the commercials for The Last Exorcism, you'd think it was just another, run of the mill, B-level horror movie destined for the discount DVD bin at Wal-Mart.   

You might even think it is a sequel to The Exorcist.

However, The Last Exorcism is the kind of brilliant movie that doesn't come along every day.  It's fun scary that lets us laugh at the brilliance, the set ups and the payoffs.

My favorite part of watching Takers was the moment before the film started, when the Cineplex decided to lower and raise the lights as if we were at the opera.  Takers isn't the worst movie ever, but it's not like we were getting ready to see La Traviata.  

Jesse (Chris Brown), Jake (Mike Ealy), A.J. (Hayden Christensen) , Gordon (Idris Elba) and John (Paul Walker) are the baddest, most efficient, smartest and best bank robbers the world has ever seen, except, no one has ever seen them because they are so good they have never been caught. 

They walk the streets of the Los Angeles like successful businessmen, investing their ill-gotten booty, driving fancy cars, living in the ritziest of homes, spending time with beautiful women and hanging out at the coolest lounges (Who said crime doesn't pay?).

Cinematical broke my heart this morning when I read The Academy is considering a move back to Monday nights for the first time since 1999. 

As you already know, the Oscar ceremony is likely to come earlier in 2012 as The Academy tries to stop all of these other awards like the SAGs and The Globes from stealing their thunder.  However, the group now is trying to figure out what to do about competition from the NFL.

Moving to January, as The Academy is considering, possibly puts their typical Sunday night broadcast up against the NFL's Sunday Night Football, which could be big competition in 2013 if the NFL extends the season to 18 games, as has been reported over the past few days. 

I know The Academy is worried about competition from other TV programs and wants to maximize the ratings, but Sunday night is the perfect night for the ceremony.  Oscar-philes like myself get the entire day to celebrate, watch the arrivals, grouse about the red carpet appearances and party with friends.  Monday doesn't give us the same opportunities as work and life get in the way too easily.

Also, when did Oscar have to be afraid of football?  I love football, but this is The Oscars!  This is Hollywood's Super Bowl.  If you don't think that is enough to compel your fans to tune in, maybe you have bigger problems than you want to admit.  Put on a great show, back up the Brinks truck to Jerry Seinfeld's house to convince him to host, and anyone who isn't a fan of the two football teams playing that night will be watching those gold statues being handed out.