Willie Waffle

Alright, I am not sure if I am excited or repulsed by the upcoming Smurf movie, but they are compiling an interesting cast. 

In addition to Jonathan Winters as Papa Smurf, Katy Perry as Smurfette and Neil Patrick Harris showing up in a very special human role, it looks like Quentin Tarantino will be voicing Brainy Smurf.

Is a generation of elementary children ready for his anxious high energy?  Am I?

I really hope everyone involved is working on a good story, instead of relying on stunt casting. 

I also hope it turns out better than this.
 

In the great pantheon of actors, no one will be including Corey Haim, but even the biggest haters have to admit he had his moment.

Most will highlight his role in the 1987 mega-hit The Lost Boys, which was one of those movies every kid in high school that year seemed to see two to three times, then watched repeatedly on HBO and VHS when it was available.  Some will remember him as Corey Feldman's out of control friend on The Two Coreys.   

However, I was always a fan of his movie Lucas. If you have never seen it, you should run out and rent it today or put it on the NetFlix queue, especially if you ever felt like the whole world was against you, or you didn't fit in, or you wondered why your traits were not the ones that made you popular.  Haim's Lucas was the sensitive, weakling nerd in school who, among other efforts,  decides to try out for the football team to impress a girl.  Unfortunately, she has eyes for Lucas's improbable buddy, the QB and Big Man on Campus played by Charlie Sheen.

Sure, it sounds like the set up for a wacky comedy, but writer/director David Seltzer focused on the kid's angst, pain and unexplainable optimism in the face of cruelty.  Haim was perfect for the role bringing the right amounts of sweetness, anger and yearning every one of us has experienced in similar situations.  Would he have had more roles like this if he avoided troubles with drugs?  We'll never know.     

For more about Corey Haim, click here, and here.

Lindsay Lohan is a complete moron.

You might remember the E-Trade Super Bowl commercial where our favorite baby boy is trying to convince his baby girlfriend nothing untoward happened the night before, only to be interrupted by Milkaholic Lindsey.

Lindsay Lohan, in a move that can only be described as the most insane and idiotic decision I have ever seen made by someone who should be paying smarter lawyers to guide her in the right direction, is suing E-Trade claiming Lindsey is based on HER.

Where do we start?

First, how egotistical and narcissistic do you have to be to believe anyone named Lindsay is based on you?

Second, aren't you actively working to debunk this image of you as an alcoholic wreck of a mess?  Why try to say this character is based on you when she is an alcoholic mess of a wreck?  No one in the world thought of you when they saw the commercial (no one in the world thinks of you at all these days).  Now, we will laugh harder than ever ... AT YOU!!!!

Third, shouldn't you be spending time resurrecting your dead acting career?

Fourth, you are suing for $100 million?  If you didn't throw your life and career away with your obsession to party until dawn, you would have made $100 million in your career.  You can't use this lawsuit as a back up plan.

Watch out Lindsey Vonn.  She might sue you for copyright and trademark infringement next. 

    

Check out my interview with Alice Eve and Krysten Ritter from She's Out of My League.

Click here.

For the last month, the Oscar nominees have been feted at feasts across Hollywood, schmoozed with the voters and pretended that it's all about the art (not the money). 

When all was said and done, The Hurt Locker walked away with Best Picture, a total of 6 Oscars, and its director, Kathryn Bigelow, became the first woman to win Best Director.  Not a bad night.

Now, the anticipation is over, the awards have been handed out and someone has to wake up the hungover revelers (God only knows where Quentin Tarantino will wake up on Monday morning).

What did we like about the show?  What did we hate?

What We Liked - Gabourey Sidibe on the red carpet (during the E! coverage, not the pre-Oscar show).  Precious may never get another nomination in her life (she might not even appear in another movie in her life), but she was sexy, sassy and fun on the red carpet.  She injects some life into the timid proceedings.  Next year, the Oscar producers need to invite Lady Gaga just to bring some excitement, unpredictable behavior and crazy fashion to the red carpet.

What We Hated - Kathy Ireland on the red carpet.  Learn how to read.  Seriously.  Watching her lumber through her lines during the pre-Oscar show made me wonder why she was employed to be there in the first place.  Just hire Joan Rivers and let her loose.   

What We Liked - Doogie gets to start the show!  Sure, the song was a bit raunchy, but funny.  I have a feeling Mr. Neil Patrick Harris just endeared himself to the right people and will host some day soon. 

What We Hated - Did I see Rachel McAdams sitting with Jake Gyllenhaal?  Are they dating?  Doesn't Rachel want to spend her time with a charming, but chubby, movie critic?

What We Liked - Giving out a big award early.  The first Oscar goes to Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds) for Best Supporting Actor.  This engages the audience quickly, instead of last year's debacle where it took over an hour to get to a big award.

What We Hated - Too many features and tributes.  They were great, but made the show drag after starting so strong.  Even Clooney's girlfriend looked bored as they finally gave out that Animated Short award.  Who else screamed in terror when the announcer said, "Coming up ... A salute to horror films"? 

Plus, when did the Oscars become So You Think You Can Dance?  Bring back the performances of songs nominated for Original Song before we have to sit through another dance number (did we all go to the bathroom during that?)    

What We Liked - The Kodak Theater.  The team that transformed the theater into one of the most gorgeous and visually interesting stages I have ever seen at the Oscars deserves an Oscar. 

What We Hated - Ben Stiller tried so hard, but he was rescuing a bit that originally had Sacha Baron Cohen dressing up like a Na'Vi female claiming James Cameron got her pregnant.  That would have been funnier.

What We Hated - Note to Sarah Jessica Parker, when giving out the award for Best Costume Design, you should not wear something that looks like a reject from Cleopatra. 

The world may be focused on the Oscars tonight, but Disney, Tim Burton, Johnny Depp and the rest of the Alice in Wonderland crew will be celebrating one of the biggest opening weekends in Hollywood history. 

The $116.3 Million take this weekend gives Alice in Wonderland:

- The largest ever 3-D film opening
- The #6 all time weekend box office haul
- The biggest March opening ever
- The #1 movie of the year, so far. 

Additionally, it sets the record for biggest IMAX opening with over $11 Million this weekend.

Get ready for the sequel, and more 3-D movies.

 

It's time to talk about the biggest Oscar showdown in years.  Who will win?  The little independent movie that could, or the massive worldwide blockbuster with smurf-tastic special effects?

Best Director

Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker)

James Cameron (Avatar)

Jason Reitman (Up In The Air)

Lee Daniels (Precious)

Quentin Tarantino (Inglourious Basterds)

And the winner will be ... Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker.

The writers on Gossip Girl could not come up with a juicier storyline.  In one corner, we have James Cameron - the self proclaimed King of the World who dominated the Oscars and the box office with his last movie (Titanic) and conquered Hollywood as he unveiled the most daring, expensive and technologically advanced film in years, which has become the biggest moneymaker EVER. 

In the other corner, we have his ex-wife, Kathryn Bigelow - a director who has had some success with the classic Patrick Swayze/Keanu Reeves film, Point Break, but no one will ever call her Queen of the World. 

While Avatar continues to make enough money to purchase some exotic private island in the Bahamas, The Hurt Locker has barely played anywhere in America, most people have never heard of it, and it's a movie that courts controversy because it's set in the middle of the war in Iraq.  Without attention from critics' groups and other awards ceremonies in the last few months, The Hurt Locker would have disappeared and barely made a dent when it was released on DVD. 

However, Bigelow is the frontrunner for Best Director.  She has been awarded the Director's Guild Award for Best Director, and the winner of this award has won the Oscar for Best Director 55 out of 61 times.  Why?  Like with the Screen Actors Guild, many members of the Directors Guild also vote in the Oscars.  Plus, Bigelow would be the first woman to ever win Best Director. 

David slays Goliath.  The ex-wife beats the ex-husband.  A woman wins for the first time. 

Hollywood can't resist a story like that.    

Best Animated Feature

Up

Coraline

The Princess and the Frog

The Secret of Kells

The Fantastic Mr. Fox

And the winner will be ... Up.

What the heck is The Secret of Kells?  Where did this come from?  Has anyone reading this piece actually seen the movie or heard of it? 

Aside from that, Up wins because it is a very good movie.  Pixar has walked away with this award 4 of the 8 times it has been given (including the last 2 in a row) and you have to know Oscar voters are in love with Up, since it was the only animated feature to be nominated for Best Picture this year, and only the second animated film ever to be nominated for Best Picture (yes, according to Oscar rules, Avatar qualifies for the Best Animated Feature category, which would make it the third animated film in history to be nominated for Best Picture, but the studio didn't seek out an Animated Feature nomination, so this stat could end up with some sort of asterisk put next to it). 

 

Best Documentary

Food, Inc.

Burma VJ

The Cove

The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers

Which Way Home

And the winner will be ... The Cove.

This could be one of the hardest categories to predict.  Some Academy members will vote for a movie because it compels them to support a cause.  Others will vote for the movie that tells a story in the most emotional and intriguing way possible.  This year, I think The Cove covers both of those.

Best Picture

A Serious Man

An Education

Avatar

The Blind Side

District 9

The Hurt Locker

Inglourious Basterds

Precious

Up In The Air

Up

And the winner will be ... The Hurt Locker.

The folks at the Academy wanted films you actually have seen to be nominated for Best Picture, which should lead to better ratings for the Oscars show, so they expanded the pool to 10 total nominees, and it worked. 

It's hard to think The Blind Side or District 9 would have been one of the top 5, but, now, they have a chance to win the whole thing.  However, they won't.

Right now, it looks like a battle between Avatar and The Hurt Locker, just like it is a battle between James Cameron and Kathryn Bigelow in the Best Director category. 

Here's why I think The Hurt Locker wins.  First of all, the film with the most nominations wins Best Picture about 70% of the time.  With Avatar and The Hurt Locker both holding 9 nominations, one of them has a good chance at winning the big prize.

Second, 60 times out of 81, the winner of Best Director directed the winner of Best Picture.  Since I think Bigelow is taking Best Director, logic leads me to think The Hurt Locker wins Best Picture.

Third, it's an analysis of which voting bloc can be counted on.  My friend Jim Judy at Screenit.com made a very telling observation.  With 10 nominees, the support for films is spread thinner.  The winner doesn't need 50% of the vote.  The winner could have as little as 11% of the vote if every nominee gets about the same number of votes.

Independent movies like The Hurt Locker tend to draw a very supportive, vocal and loyal following, which should not waiver as the next month slowly passes.  Avatar might be the talk of the town for how much money it has earned so far, but something else will be #1 at the box office in a few weeks.     

Just keep in mind, all of those stats I just threw at you could be null and void in 2010.  This category is the one where we can see the biggest surprise because it has been many years since The Academy nominated 10 films in the Best Picture category, so we don't have anything to compare the 2010 race to. 

Back in February, I made my first round of Oscar predictions, and, well, ummmm, nothing has changed.  This has been one of the most uneventful Oscar campaigns in recent memory.  Even the small amount of controversy over The Hurt Locker doesn't seem to have enough juice to ruin its chances. 

With all of that said, who will win? 

Best Actor

Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart)

George Clooney (Up In The Air)

Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker)

Morgan Freeman (Invictus)

Colin Firth (A Single Man)

And the winner will be ... Jeff Bridges for Crazy Heart.  

After a long, distinguished and revered career in Hollywood, Jeff Bridges gets his due from the Academy voters in 2010.  He has been nominated 5 times without a win, but Bridges has been parading through Hollywood like a humble king during this year's awards season. 

Most importantly, he won the Screen Actors Guild Award for Best Actor, which is significant, since many SAG voters also vote for the Academy Awards.  It's akin to being a presidential candidate who wins the New Hampshire primary or Iowa caucuses.  Voters have spoken and given you credibility.  

Call it a Lifetime Achievement Award if you will, but Bridges has support from the acting community and many people think he deserves one of these after being passed over a few times (which can influence voters), so he's walking away with an Oscar on March 7. 

Best Actress

Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side)

Meryl Streep (Julie and Julia)

Carey Mulligan (An Education)

Gabourey Sidibe (Precious)

Helen Mirren (The Last Station)

And the winner will be ... Sandra Bullock for The Blind Side. 

Sandra Bullock wins unless she is caught driving drunk down Ventura Highway, wearing a George W. Bush costume, while singing Milli Vanilli songs to a kidnapped and crying Dakota Fanning.  Even then, it only reduces her chances to 50-50.  

When the campaign season started, I figured Bullock had a decent chance at getting a nomination, but she has rallied throughout the last few months to emerge from possible nominee to frontrunner.  

She has won the Screen Actors Guild Award for Best Actress, tied with Meryl Streep for the same award at the Critics Choice Awards, and has lots of goodwill built up in Hollywood to propel her to a victory. 

People want to see her win because she's still America's Sweetheart no matter how many bombs like All About Steve or Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood she might make.    

Sure, Meryl Streep holds the record among actors with 16 Oscar nominations, but she hasn't won since 1983 (and only won twice out of fifteen previous nominations, the only person who strikes out more is me at the club on a Saturday night).

 

Best Supporting Actress

Mo'Nique (Precious)

Anna Kendrick (Up In The Air)

Vera Farmiga (Up In The Air)

Maggie Gyllenhaal (Crazy Heart)

Penelope Cruz (Nine)

And the winner will be ... Mo'Nique for Precious.

What can you say?  Mo'Nique was magnificent in ways many didn't know she could be, and has won every award out there because of it.  You can't deny obvious genius when it occurs right before your eyes. 

Penelope can sit back and relax because she has won before. 

Gyllenhaal should be thankful she got an invitation to the party as she rode Jeff Bridges's coattails to a nomination.  

Kendrick is in the Twilight movies, and has a Tony Award nomination to go with the Oscar nomination, so that will get her plenty of work in the next few years. 

I only cry for Farmiga.  For every role in a movie like The Departed, Up In The Air and Nothing But The Truth, she gets stuck in a howler like Orphan or Joshua. 

Best Supporting Actor

Christopher Plummer (The Last Station)

Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds)

Woody Harrelson (The Messenger)

Matt Damon (Invictus)

Stanley Tucci (The Lovely Bones)

And the winner will be ... Christoph Waltz for Inglourious Basterds.

I am starting to sound like a broken record, but, like Mo'Nique, Waltz has won EVERYTHING.  He came out of European television and theaters to shock and amaze audiences as the cold, nasty, oddly charming and chillingly intelligent Nazi villain when everyone who went to see Inglourious Basterds was looking forward to seeing Brad Pitt, but walked away talking about him.      

Poor Tim Burton.  When his name gets attached to a film, the expectations and the hype explode beyond the stratosphere, and you can't live up to it every time (kind of like having a date with Megan Fox and finding out she's a nice girl who needs to be home by 11 PM).  

That's what happens with Alice in Wonderland.  It's a decent movie, but not the amazing, mindblowing, set the world on fire, change your life and curl your toes film people expect and want.

Mia Wasikowska stars as Alice - a 19-year old girl who doesn't fit in.  She's an unconventional free spirit who questions the way things are (good for her).  Yet, her sister and her mother have taken the young lady to a big, surprise engagement party, where the man who has been courting her, Hamish (Leo Bill), will be popping the big question. Unfortunately, Alice doesn't want to give him the answer men want to hear.

When the big moment arrives, Alice runs, ends up chasing a rabbit wearing a topcoat, and finds herself falling down a hole (sound familiar?).  Many in this weird world she has fallen into seem to know her and expect her to be some sort of savior, but it all just feels like a recurring dream Alice has been haunting her for the past 13 years.  

Was she here before?

Has Alice returned to Wonderland?

Is it all a dream?

Is she the right Alice?

The best decision in the movie is to make Alice in Wonderland a sequel to the tale we know.  It's a sneaky way for writer Linda Woolverton and Burton to use the familiar characters we expect to see, while creating their own story to avoid having to recreate the scenes audience members cherish from the first Alice in Wonderland movie.  You can't go home again.  You can't beat the childhood memory, and Burton and Woolverton acknowledge that in this version of Alice in Wonderland.

The movie has some great qualities.  Alice in Wonderland is a film that moves at a lightning place, never boring and never leaving the audience waiting for the next scene.  Woolverton provides some funny lines, as well as amusing scenes and reactions from the characters to help alleviate some of the scarier and more harrowing sequences that will have 5-year olds screaming in terror (more on that later).  

However, while Alice in Wonderland always has a very dreamy look, and interesting characters, the story feels mushy and flat.  This is a movie seeking energy, detail, depth of plot and purpose as Alice seems to be wandering through Wonderland (or, Underland as we are reminded several times) without much direction. 

The audience is told about the prophecy, and we wonder if Alice will believe it (of course she will), but none of it seems in question, so the whole movie is about visually stimulating us, while we wait for the big climax.  I wanted to learn more about the Red Queen's (Helena Bonham Carter) reign of terror (especially since Carter is so entertaining), the life the White Queen (Anne Hathaway) lives in exile and more.      

Alan Rickman is AWESOME as the Blue Caterpillar as he makes the character a wise mentor on one hand, and a mocking know-it-all on the other.  Depp, the King of the Misfits, is very good as the goofy Mad Hatter, and almost becomes the lead character because of his ability (and Wasikowska's lack of charm), but he suffers as the script doesn't give him much to do other than acting wacky and looking for small moments to make the character more than a goofball.    

This Alice in the Wonderland is not the animated version of Alice in Wonderland you might remember from your childhood, so I would be VERY careful about anyone over the age of 8 seeing, especially if you see the movie close to bedtime.  When the Red Queen screams, "Off with their heads," the little ones might be a bit haunted by what happens next.

 





2 ½ Waffles Out of 4

Alice in Wonderland is rated PG for fantasy action/violence involving scary images and situations, and for a smoking caterpillar.

In the 1970's, 80's and 90's, New York City and Brooklyn were portrayed in movies as dens of iniquity where evil (and rats) lurked in the shadows of every alley.  That's why we believed each case on Cagney and Lacey, NYPD Blue and Law & Order could really happen (and often was ripped from the headlines).  

However, today's New York is the cute, cuddly New York of How I Met Your Mother and Gossip Girl (no one threatens to pop a cap in Leighton Meester).  It makes the Brooklyn in Brooklyn's Finest look like an homage to a 70's Scorsese film.

Brooklyn's Finest is the tale of three officers of the law.

Richard Gere stars as Eddie - a long time NYPD officer in a Brooklyn precinct who has done everything possible to keep his head down and avoid trouble at all costs.   

Ethan Hawke is Sal - a vice squad officer also in a Brooklyn precinct, who is desperate to buy his family a new home, and willing to do something illegal and unthinkable to get his hands on some cash very quickly.

Finally, Don Cheadle is an undercover detective on the verge of getting out,  getting his life back, and getting the ultimate reward, when he's asked to gather evidence to get a former pal, Caz (Wesley Snipes), arrested (check out my interview with Wesley Snipes and director Antoine Fuqua here).

What choices will each man make as he tries to determine what is right, what is wrong and what he needs to do?

Director Antoine Fuqua vividly reminds us Brooklyn still can be a mean, dirty, gritty place if you want to find the underbelly of society, and frightens you with its stark, harsh, shocking reality.  Often times intense, Fuqua and writer Michael Martin try to avoid Brooklyn's Finest falling into clichéd storylines and plot twists, but don't always succeed, even though we do get some fun surprises.  

Luckily, they don't try to get too cute and have some massive revelation that all three cops are working on the same case, so don't look for that and you will enjoy the movie more.  These are three distinct stories, even if Fuqua has a little fun teasing the audience with how all three might interact.

Brooklyn's Finest excels when focused on its amazing cast.  I know many people like to mock Gere, but I like him.  He does a good job capturing the inner conflict and shame Eddie feels as he holds back from being a hero, as well as giving some sadness to Eddie as his career comes to an uneventful, lacking in fanfare end, while others look at him with some contempt for never accomplishing anything.

Then, you get the always awesome Cheadle with his strong take on a guy who has given everything for the job, and might never get it back.  He's bitter, angry and distrustful of each and every person along the way who tries to control him for their own benefit.  

Finally, Hawke brings some much needed conflict and energy to the most obvious and predictable role of the good man forced to do bad things to help his family.  Martin, Fuqua and Hawke all make it much better than it should be by clearly showing the opposing viewpoint so provocatively in the most intense poker game you will ever see on screen, which balances the more knee jerk bleeding heart side of the story if some in the audience think Sal is a modern day Jean Valjean (there's a story begging to be remade with today's economic turmoil as the setting).  

Brooklyn's Finest is a bit too long, and doesn't always break free from the obvious, but it's still a movie worth seeing.   Sadly, I missed the first 5 - 10 minutes of the movie (those of you who battled DC traffic after the snow storms know what I am talking about), and I hear it's the best part of Brooklyn's Finest, so make sure you get to the Cineplex with plenty of time to spare.







2 ½ Waffles (Out of 4)

Brooklyn's Finest is rated R for bloody violence throughout, strong sexuality, nudity, drug content and pervasive language.