March 2010 Archives

You can tell Miley Cyrus is trying to show her character is filled with dramatic, painful agony because she scrunches up her face like a Cabbage Patch Doll (or Renee Zellweger).  Good luck with that acting career.
 

Every time I see a story about Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush, I ask myself why I care.

In the latest twist in the drama that is their courtship, supposedly the two have broken up because Reggie Bush and his family cannot get past Kim's infamous 2007 sex tape with Ray J, also known as the way Kim made herself famous.  Some people rely on talent and ability.  Not Kim.

Another 3D movie hit the theaters this week, and found itself at #1.  Isn't it funny how that happens when you charge more per ticket than the competition?

How To Train Your Dragon flew past Alice In Wonderland and trounced Hot Tub Time Machine at the box office this weekend hauling in $43.3 Million. 

Alice still drummed up $17.3 Million while the Hot Tub Time Machine shorted out with $13.6 Million after an extensive marketing campaign.  I guess John Cusack just doesn't pack 'em in like he used to.

Worst of all, Diary of a Wimpy Kid showed no legs whatsoever and dropped an astounding 54% from last week's take to limp across the finish line with $12.4 Million.  Typically, that kind of drop indicates the audience is not that large for the film series to be a blockbuster, and word of mouth on this one turned people away instead of bringing them into the cineplex.

How can anyone screw this up?  We have a hot tub.  We have a time machine.  We have 80's classic music (and big hair).  What went wrong?

I was able to see this in IMAX 3D, which is highly highly highly recommended if you have one near you.  Just make sure you bring some sort of sanitizer (I have a travel size one with me at all times) because they re-use all of the glasses from show to show, and I hope they clean them in between, but you never really know.

I want to make something clear to you perverts out there who assume the worst from me (not that I haven't justified it).  When I say Amanda Seyfried has big eyes, I really mean she has big EYES.  It's not a euphemism.  

Julianne Moore stars as Catherine - a middle aged mother of a teen boy (Max Thierot) married to a hunky college professor, David (Liam Neeson), who always gets special attention from his young, female students. 

As the marriage starts to suffer, Catherine is convinced David is doing more than tutoring during his office hours, so she does what any insane, irrational, absolutely crazy woman would do, she hires Chloe (Amanda Seyfried) to seduce her husband to prove he is fooling around.

Many movies have fans, but few have overly dedicated, obsessive fanatics.  How do you know when they have crossed the line?  When they start speaking the made up language you developed for the movie.

Believe it or not, Mike Myers has decided it's time to bring back Austin Powers.  Having a dud like The Love Guru will do that to a highly paid actor who wants to revel in success instead of wallowing in massive failure.

If you want to be the #1 movie at the box office several weeks in a row, make it in 3-D and charge more per ticket, a formula Avatar and Alice in Wonderland have been riding to success. 

Lots of people seem to want to go down the rabbit hole as Alice scored another $34.1 Million in the USA.  That brings the domestic box office to $265 Million and the worldwide gross to $565 Million.  Fans of the movie's director, Tim Burton, will be excited to hear he is working on a stop motion remake of The Addams Family. 

Coming in a surprising 2nd place, Diary of a Wimpy Kid scored with $21.8 Million beating out the more heavily hyped The Bounty Hunter.  The Aniston/Butler romantic comedy came in a close 3rd with $21 Million.  Will the studio try to re-figure the totals to make it the 2nd place movie when the final numbers come out on Monday?

Diary of a Wimpy Kid already has a sequel in the works, so get ready for Diary of a Wimpy Tween.  Of course, if the movies continue to perform well financially, it will all lead to Diary of a Wimpy Middle Aged Dude starring John Cusack.
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The roof.  The roof.  The roof is on fire!

Sadly, it's true.  The set for Hogwarts Castle burned this weekend after filming of the climactic battle from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows went awry.  No one from the cast was on site at the time, but the set became a complete loss as about 100 crew members had to flee for their own safety. 

No word on whether this will delay the release of the two part movie, but I don't think it will. 
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Poor Jennifer Aniston.  She is soooooo pretty, but her movies are so ugly.  It's like she made a deal with the devil to have eternal beauty and a career in movies, but he pulled the old switcheroo by making those movies ones like The Bounty Hunter.

Aniston stars as Nicole - a New York newspaper reporter who is out on bail for a seemingly ridiculous charge of assaulting a police officer (when you see the movie, you will see it is ridiculous and not a real assault on one of the boys in blue).  On the day of her court appearance, one of Nicole's sources calls with information on a major story she is pursuing, so she runs off to meet him.  Of course, this means she misses her court date and a bench warrant is issued for Nicole's arrest.

Gerard Butler stars as Milo - a former New York police detective who has become a bounty hunter.  Also, he used to be married to Nicole.  Now, he has been given the assignment of bringing her in, and that's where the hilarity (hypothetically) begins.



Will Milo be able to capture Nicole?

Will she be able to break the big story?

Will true love spring eternal and bring the two back together again?

The Bounty Hunter is a mess.  Director Andy Tennant presents a movie with a confused tone as it ranges from romance to madcap comedy to serious crime drama.  Maybe it's possible to combine all of those into a good movie, but Tennant can't do it.  

Cartoonish characters, like the woman who works at Milo's bail bondsman or a co-worker who has a crush on Nicole, are not even close to reality, when the rest of the movie is trying to be more realistic than campy (most of the time). 

Tennant puts together scenes of tough guys threatening Nicole's   source with bodily harm directly next to wacky slapstick or goofy comedy in jarring fashion without slowly building between one or the other to make it a more comfortable transition for the audience.  Plus, those more dangerous and dramatic scenes are overdone and fake, while the comedy is dependent on tired sight gags and ridiculous behavior that is moronic instead of funny.  

Writer Sarah Thorp doesn't help matters.  In the middle of the movie, the plot about Nicole's big story is completely lost, only to get tacked back onto the end.  Worst of all, you never get a sense of why the marriage between Milo and Nicole ended.  Thorp needs to make a better effort to explain what happened to cause these two to bicker incessantly.   Were they over dedicated to their jobs?  Did they have disagreements about the direction of their lives?  We don't really know until it is too late.  Even then, it feels like a half-hearted effort to explain things long after we stopped caring.    

Then, we have to deal with the Butler/Aniston pairing.  Both are fine on their own, but I never felt any chemistry watching them together.  The bickering between the characters seems forced, and the romance even more so.  It always feels like the two are reading their lines as opposed to becoming the characters.  Maybe the two are doing the horizontal mambo in real life, but the heat doesn't come through on screen (and I don't think they are good enough actors to hide it).   

The Bounty Hunter will make you laugh a few times, so it's not a complete loss, but it's also not worth the price of admission.







1 Waffle (Out of 4)

The Bounty Hunter is rated PG-13 for sexual content including suggestive comments, language and some violence.  Share

Zachary Gordon stars as Greg Heffley - a young kid entering middle school with plans to be one of the cool kids.  Along the way, he has to navigate the childhood dangers of nefarious cheese, no doors on the bathroom stalls, where to sit at lunch time, and the hazing by older kids.  Luckily, he has his best friend, Rowley (Robert Capron), to suffer along with him, until their fortunes change and one finds himself climbing the social ladder, leaving the other behind.

Can Greg and Rowley still be friends?

What's more important, being yourself or being popular?

Diary Of A Wimpy Kid explores many of the same themes you typically find in a kids movie, along with some potty humor, some booger comedy, a drug joke you hope your children won't get and some attempts to lift up the drama youngsters face to mythological levels.  However, this movie also tosses in some very weird parallels to a romantic comedy, which adults will see immediately, even if the kids don't understand what is going on.

Normally, I would celebrate a movie that finds ways to entertain on a kid level and an adult level, but these people have gone a bit too far.  Director Thor Freudenthal shows a teen rock band emerging from a smoke filled van (Are these guys the Scooby Gang?), and shows the kids building a snowman with a twig placed just right, so it looks like he is relieving himself.  Gross stuff for sure, but one plot twist just felt weird.  

The oddest storyline shows Rowley and Greg breaking up like a boyfriend and girlfriend complete with scenes of one friend trying to retrieve his property from the other friend's home, painful glances from across the room and one of them moving on to a new (boy)friend.  It feels a bit icky to see 6th graders going through that bit of hilarity (6th grade is about puppy love not the stuff you encounter in an adult relationship, like the time I mailed a vacuum cleaner back to a woman, so I wouldn't have to see her again), and the kids who go see the movie aren't going to get it, so what's the point?

On the other hand, Diary Of A Wimpy Kid has some good themes to it.  It is funny to watch Greg's constant attempts at being cool blow up in his face, while buddy Rowley shows the best way to be cool is to be yourself (I know. I know. I know.  That doesn't work in the real world, but let's have kids believe this stuff at least until they get to high school, or until they can afford plastic surgery to make themselves more attractive).  Plus, fans of the original book will appreciate the inclusion of illustrations throughout the movie to help give us a feel for where we are in the story and to make allusions to the original material by Jeff Kinney.

Not much will shock kids, especially those who have read the books, but I have to think there are better choices out there. 







1 ½ Waffles (Out of 4)

Diary Of A Wimpy Kid is rated PG for some rude humor and language. 

The rumor mill has been churning overtime the last few days as Sandra Bullock pulled out of the British premiere of her Oscar winning movie, The Blind Side.  Why?

Bullock's people issued a statement saying "personal reasons" make it impossible for the award winning actress to travel to promote the movie, which has fed rumors she has moved out of the home she shares with husband Jesse James.

In Touch magazine is reporting James had an affair with a model who was trying to get some work with his company, West Coast Choppers, while Bullock was off making The Blind Side.  After seeing pictures of the alleged other woman, I have come to the conclusion that Jesse James is an idiot if this is true. 

Oddly enough, this continues a trend of Oscar winning actresses breaking up with their significant others after winning the Best Actress trophy.  Halle Berry, Kate Winslet, Hilary Swank and more have dumped the man in their life for various reasons not that long after winning an Oscar. 

Hopefully, the rumors are not true, but this is shaping up to be a big Hollywood story in the next few weeks.

UPDATE:  Jesse James sent the woman text messages.  Uh Oh.

Ladies and gentleman, get ready for the rainbow re-connection as The Muppets are coming back to the big screen in 2012 (I bet they'll even make the movie in 3-D).

While I normally cast a suspicious eye towards these big, bad, evil movie studios trying to exploit one of our favorite childhood friends (look at how they destroyed Alvin and The Chipmunks!), I have some faith as the movie is being written by Jason Segal.  Most of you will remember him from the fabulous How I Met Your Mother, while others will remember Jason and his manhood from Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Segal also will star in the movie, so let's hope he keeps his pants on.  I wouldn't want Miss Piggy to have a heart attack. 



  

There is a special place for me in Hell for celebrating a separation and divorce, but KATE WINSLET IS GETTING DIVORCED!!!!! 

British lawyer (barrister?) Keith Schilling was called on to announce Winslet and her hubby, director Sam Mendes, separated earlier in 2010 after almost 7 years of marriage. 

Of course, the standard plea for privacy was issued as the couple work out the paperwork and tend to their 6-year old son and Winslet's 9-year old daughter. 

In the meantime, Winslet is preparing for her starring turn in the depression-era HBO miniseries Mildred Pierce.   

Mendes probably is working on some sort of project or something.

Sure, I know I have absolutely no chance of EVER scoring a date with Ms. Winslet, but, now, if I ever meet her, I can hit on her without feeling guilty.  Victory is mine.
 

A nerd, a vampire and a Member of the Handsome Men's Club couldn't topple the latest 3-D sensation this weekend as Alice in Wonderland racked up another $62 Million at U.S. theaters.

Now, Alice In Wonderland has taken in $208 Million in the states, plus another $221 Million worldwide to bring its complete box office total to $429 Million in just 2 weeks!  Between Avatar and Alice in Wonderland, it's hard to imagine any major blockbuster in the next 5 years will be released only in a 2-D format. 

Distributors, studios and theaters can charge higher ticket prices, while moviegoers feel the experience is superior to 2-D movies and worth leaving the house to see.  Mark my words, by this time next year, Gucci will be selling pink framed 3-D glasses (because fashionistas cannot be expected to wear boring black and risk swine flu germs from those movie theater glasses).      

Meanwhile, Matt Damon's Green Zone fizzled as it hauled only $14.5 Million, a major disappointment for a film with such a big star and marketing budget.  Even with The Hurt Locker taking the Oscar for Best Picture, moviegoers continue to show they are not interested in seeing any movies about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. 

The heavily promoted comedy, She's Out Of My League came in third with $9.6 Million, which would normally be considered respectable (with no major stars to bring in the crowds), but I think it's another disappointment considering the massive marketing push put on by Paramount.  You couldn't watch ESPN for ten minutes without seeing an advertisement or tie-in.  I was waiting for Alice Eve to present the Top 10 Plays of the Day, then toss it to Trey Wingo.   

Finally, vampire boy Robert Pattinson delivered $8.3 Million in his solo debut, Remember Me.  Playing in almost 800 - 1000 theaters less than the other two new offerings this week, and Summit Entertainment's light marketing push, I think it's a small victory for Pattinson and the producers.  He'll never reach Twilight levels of frenzy for any other movie (unless they cast him as Spider-Man).  However, he might be able to score a couple more paydays as a leading man before his hair falls out (when you put that much effort and product into a shaggy do, male pattern baldness reacts with a vengeance).     

Don't worry.  Despite having the word "Green" in the title, Matt Damon is not some eco-warrior trying to destroy an evil polluter, save the dolphins or attempting to take down Toyota (they seem to be doing that all on their own).  It's a war movie, so stuff is going to blow up.  

Set in 2003, Damon stars as Roy Miller - a U.S. soldier leading a team searching for Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq.  He's getting frustrated that all of his target sites seem to have been abandoned years ago, and the intelligence information provided to him is completely wrong.  As Miller starts to speak up because he feels the presence of WMDs in Iraq was the whole point of going to war in the first place, he's told by everyone to shut up, except by CIA Agent Martin Brown (Brendon Gleeson).  

Brown has been in disagreement with the Pentagon's Clark Poundstone (Greg Kinnear) when it comes to setting up a new government and finding a replacement for Saddam Hussein, so the agent recruits Miller to be part of his team when the soldier has a run in with Iraqi General Al Rawi (Igal Naor).  Miller might know where Al Rawi has been hiding, and everyone wants to find him.

Why must Al Rawi be found?

What does he know?

What might he reveal?

Green Zone is a better than solid action and mystery movie, and I hope it's not too smart for the audience.  You don't need to be an expert on the war or someone who watches CNN 24-hours a day to understand what is happening on the screen, but it does help to have a basic knowledge of what is going on in the news (which you should have as a citizen and taxpayer anyway), and a willingness to pay attention.  Then, director Paul Greengrass, writer Brian Helgeland (based on a book by Rajiv Chandrasekaran) and Damon take you on an action-packed roller coaster ride full of intrigue, lies, ethical challenges and more.

Green Zone is an enjoyable movie for the harrowing firefights and battle scenes our heroes find themselves in, but it's the mystery that makes it a good movie.   Greengrass and Helgeland, while dealing with a somewhat obvious twist, keep the audience riveted as we hope Damon's character will cut through the weeds of deceit to find the truth, no matter how painful that might be for him.  

In between the explosions and chase scenes, we are left to watch a political battle being waged as an experienced bureaucrat tries to manipulate the system for the outcome he wishes to see, while one man has to question all he believed in, since it no longer matches up with his own set of what is right and wrong.  This is where Damon shines.

As the disillusioned soldier who feels he has to fight the system he was supposed to trust to get the truth, Damon perfectly showcases Miller's fears, anger, frustration, disappointment and betrayal.  Damon is able to gain the audience's sympathy because we all know this kind of betrayal, so he uses that to win us over.  Then, he tries to get the truth and get even, which is something we all want to do as well.  Damon is a smooth actor who makes it all feel real and unforced.         

Green Zone leans more towards action instead of intrigue, which limits the opportunities for Helgeland to blow us away with some dialogue.  Also, a few less fight scenes would have given us more Kinnear and Amy Ryan (a reporter who is caught up in the search for the truth), which is always a good thing. 







3 Waffles (Out of 4)

Green Zone is rated R for violence and language.

It's funny, and kinda sweet, but they shouldn't classify it as comedy.  It's sci-fi/fantasy.

Jay Baruchel stars as Kirk - an average looking (OK, maybe geeky looking is a better way to put it, or 90-pound weakling, or king of the nerd universe) TSA security agent at the Pittsburgh airport.  A guy with a kind and decent soul, Kirk is trying to recover from a broken heart, when the amazing, gorgeous, stunning, angelic Molly (Alice Eve) loses her cell phone while going through security.  He finds it, and she invites him to a party to return it.  

From there, it looks like unlikely love is in bloom as Molly and Kirk start spending more time together, and none of their friends or family can believe the beauty will stay with the beast, not even Kirk himself.

Is it true love?

Does Kirk have what it takes to win Molly's heart?

She's Out Of My League will make you laugh on every level from witty one-liners to outright raunchy gross out humor.  Writers Sean Anders and John Morris come up with many hilarious situations, great dialogue among the guy pals as the four sad sacks try to analyze the situation and provide sage advice, and make Molly into the woman of every man's dreams (inside and out).

Alice Eve makes sure Molly is sweet and wonderful enough for you to possibly believe a woman as beautiful as her would actually be more interested in a guy for his soul than for his six-pack abs (believe it for maybe 5 minutes, which is longer than you would expect going into the movie).   She has a charm that goes beyond her obvious good looks, which helps She's Out Of My League.  While Baruchel is holding back too much, even for a guy who is supposed to be sad and shy, Eve shines.  

Then, we get T.J. Miller making us laugh in the Vince Vaughn role of fast talking, inappropriate quote machine, best buddy Stainer.  Most of the time, he's funny, but trying a bit too hard at other times.  Mostly, I wish it looked like he was engaging with the other characters instead of staring into space most of the movie, but he gets enough good lines to make you forgive the negatives.

When it gets serious, She's Out Of My League loses momentum, and we all have a good idea how it will end.  Also, the movie is almost too guy-centered.  The audience needs better dialogue for Molly and her best pal, Patty (Krysten Ritter) to balance things out, even if this is more of a dudes' movie.







3 Waffles (Out of 4)

She's Out Of My League is rated R for language and sexual content.

The ending is one you will either love or hate, so put me in the hate category.  I hate the ending.  I hate it.  I hate it.  I hate it.  I hate it.  I hate it with the passion of 1000 burning suns.  I hate it more than Kim Basinger hates Alec Baldwin.  I hate it more than Garfield hates Mondays.  Other than that, Remember Me isn't so bad.

Set in 2001, Robert Pattinson stars as Tyler Hawkins - a brooding introvert (Pattinson is good at that) haunted by his brother's suicide, and at war with his rich, cold, uncaring father, Charles (Pierce Brosnan).  Come to think of it, Tyler hasn't met an authority figure he doesn't loathe, so it's not a surprise when he ends up on the wrong side of a hot headed cop, Neil Craig (Chris Cooper).  

Before you know it, Tyler and his goofball best buddy, Aidan (Tate Ellington), find out Craig's beautiful daughter, Ally (Emilie de Raven), attends their college, and happens to have a class with our favorite brooding introvert.  While the intention of getting to know Ally is murky at first, Tyler and the young co-ed soon start to fall for each other, and try to confront the family problems each one suffers with (and help bring a conclusion to his never ending brooding).

Is it true love?

Will each one come to some sort of detente with their father?

Can they find a way to move on from the horrible losses in their lives?

If nothing else, Remember Me gives those who are curious and the Twilight fans a chance to see Pattinson more animated and alive than you have ever seen him before.  Best of all, the movie is not horrible.

Director Allen Coulter and writer Will Fetters shape Remember Me into a movie that is better at the common scenes than the big climactic moments.  When trying to hit the highly emotional points, Remember Me tends to be out of control, unbelievable and melodramatic, especially in scenes where Tyler is supposed to be angry beyond belief.  Coulter needs to step in, get Pattinson to hold everything back a bit and make the anger feel real (but Brosnan has the same problem in the same scene, so you can't blame the actors completely).  

Overall, Pattinson is good, but de Ravin is even better.  In an era where most young actresses have empty eyes that serve as a window into their vapid, brainless souls (you can say the same about some pretty boy actors, too), de Ravin has intensity, emotion, hurt and happiness that comes through on the screen perfectly.  The two have some good chemistry, which is a welcome relief, as is Fetters's ability to weave in a few other plotlines to make Remember Me about more than the sappy romance.

Once all of the major plotlines have been wrapped up and you are ready to put your coat on and leave the theater, Coulter and Fetters drop a massive twist in your lap that is completely manipulative and unnecessary.  Without giving it away, we don't need something as massive and huge to make the point.  A smaller, more common ending would have fit better into the movie, and been more palatable for the audience. 

Aidan is used extensively for comic relief (most of which is funny), so don't think you will go in and sit weeping for the entire film.  However, you might want to walk out before the ending makes you angry as well.   







2 ½ Waffles (Out of 4)

Remember Me is rated PG-13 for violence, sexual content, language and smoking.

Alright, I am not sure if I am excited or repulsed by the upcoming Smurf movie, but they are compiling an interesting cast. 

In addition to Jonathan Winters as Papa Smurf, Katy Perry as Smurfette and Neil Patrick Harris showing up in a very special human role, it looks like Quentin Tarantino will be voicing Brainy Smurf.

Is a generation of elementary children ready for his anxious high energy?  Am I?

I really hope everyone involved is working on a good story, instead of relying on stunt casting. 

I also hope it turns out better than this.
 

In the great pantheon of actors, no one will be including Corey Haim, but even the biggest haters have to admit he had his moment.

Most will highlight his role in the 1987 mega-hit The Lost Boys, which was one of those movies every kid in high school that year seemed to see two to three times, then watched repeatedly on HBO and VHS when it was available.  Some will remember him as Corey Feldman's out of control friend on The Two Coreys.   

However, I was always a fan of his movie Lucas. If you have never seen it, you should run out and rent it today or put it on the NetFlix queue, especially if you ever felt like the whole world was against you, or you didn't fit in, or you wondered why your traits were not the ones that made you popular.  Haim's Lucas was the sensitive, weakling nerd in school who, among other efforts,  decides to try out for the football team to impress a girl.  Unfortunately, she has eyes for Lucas's improbable buddy, the QB and Big Man on Campus played by Charlie Sheen.

Sure, it sounds like the set up for a wacky comedy, but writer/director David Seltzer focused on the kid's angst, pain and unexplainable optimism in the face of cruelty.  Haim was perfect for the role bringing the right amounts of sweetness, anger and yearning every one of us has experienced in similar situations.  Would he have had more roles like this if he avoided troubles with drugs?  We'll never know.     

For more about Corey Haim, click here, and here.

Lindsay Lohan is a complete moron.

You might remember the E-Trade Super Bowl commercial where our favorite baby boy is trying to convince his baby girlfriend nothing untoward happened the night before, only to be interrupted by Milkaholic Lindsey.

Lindsay Lohan, in a move that can only be described as the most insane and idiotic decision I have ever seen made by someone who should be paying smarter lawyers to guide her in the right direction, is suing E-Trade claiming Lindsey is based on HER.

Where do we start?

First, how egotistical and narcissistic do you have to be to believe anyone named Lindsay is based on you?

Second, aren't you actively working to debunk this image of you as an alcoholic wreck of a mess?  Why try to say this character is based on you when she is an alcoholic mess of a wreck?  No one in the world thought of you when they saw the commercial (no one in the world thinks of you at all these days).  Now, we will laugh harder than ever ... AT YOU!!!!

Third, shouldn't you be spending time resurrecting your dead acting career?

Fourth, you are suing for $100 million?  If you didn't throw your life and career away with your obsession to party until dawn, you would have made $100 million in your career.  You can't use this lawsuit as a back up plan.

Watch out Lindsey Vonn.  She might sue you for copyright and trademark infringement next. 

    

Check out my interview with Alice Eve and Krysten Ritter from She's Out of My League.

Click here.

For the last month, the Oscar nominees have been feted at feasts across Hollywood, schmoozed with the voters and pretended that it's all about the art (not the money). 

When all was said and done, The Hurt Locker walked away with Best Picture, a total of 6 Oscars, and its director, Kathryn Bigelow, became the first woman to win Best Director.  Not a bad night.

Now, the anticipation is over, the awards have been handed out and someone has to wake up the hungover revelers (God only knows where Quentin Tarantino will wake up on Monday morning).

What did we like about the show?  What did we hate?

What We Liked - Gabourey Sidibe on the red carpet (during the E! coverage, not the pre-Oscar show).  Precious may never get another nomination in her life (she might not even appear in another movie in her life), but she was sexy, sassy and fun on the red carpet.  She injects some life into the timid proceedings.  Next year, the Oscar producers need to invite Lady Gaga just to bring some excitement, unpredictable behavior and crazy fashion to the red carpet.

What We Hated - Kathy Ireland on the red carpet.  Learn how to read.  Seriously.  Watching her lumber through her lines during the pre-Oscar show made me wonder why she was employed to be there in the first place.  Just hire Joan Rivers and let her loose.   

What We Liked - Doogie gets to start the show!  Sure, the song was a bit raunchy, but funny.  I have a feeling Mr. Neil Patrick Harris just endeared himself to the right people and will host some day soon. 

What We Hated - Did I see Rachel McAdams sitting with Jake Gyllenhaal?  Are they dating?  Doesn't Rachel want to spend her time with a charming, but chubby, movie critic?

What We Liked - Giving out a big award early.  The first Oscar goes to Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds) for Best Supporting Actor.  This engages the audience quickly, instead of last year's debacle where it took over an hour to get to a big award.

What We Hated - Too many features and tributes.  They were great, but made the show drag after starting so strong.  Even Clooney's girlfriend looked bored as they finally gave out that Animated Short award.  Who else screamed in terror when the announcer said, "Coming up ... A salute to horror films"? 

Plus, when did the Oscars become So You Think You Can Dance?  Bring back the performances of songs nominated for Original Song before we have to sit through another dance number (did we all go to the bathroom during that?)    

What We Liked - The Kodak Theater.  The team that transformed the theater into one of the most gorgeous and visually interesting stages I have ever seen at the Oscars deserves an Oscar. 

What We Hated - Ben Stiller tried so hard, but he was rescuing a bit that originally had Sacha Baron Cohen dressing up like a Na'Vi female claiming James Cameron got her pregnant.  That would have been funnier.

What We Hated - Note to Sarah Jessica Parker, when giving out the award for Best Costume Design, you should not wear something that looks like a reject from Cleopatra. 

The world may be focused on the Oscars tonight, but Disney, Tim Burton, Johnny Depp and the rest of the Alice in Wonderland crew will be celebrating one of the biggest opening weekends in Hollywood history. 

The $116.3 Million take this weekend gives Alice in Wonderland:

- The largest ever 3-D film opening
- The #6 all time weekend box office haul
- The biggest March opening ever
- The #1 movie of the year, so far. 

Additionally, it sets the record for biggest IMAX opening with over $11 Million this weekend.

Get ready for the sequel, and more 3-D movies.

 

It's time to talk about the biggest Oscar showdown in years.  Who will win?  The little independent movie that could, or the massive worldwide blockbuster with smurf-tastic special effects?

Best Director

Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker)

James Cameron (Avatar)

Jason Reitman (Up In The Air)

Lee Daniels (Precious)

Quentin Tarantino (Inglourious Basterds)

And the winner will be ... Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker.

The writers on Gossip Girl could not come up with a juicier storyline.  In one corner, we have James Cameron - the self proclaimed King of the World who dominated the Oscars and the box office with his last movie (Titanic) and conquered Hollywood as he unveiled the most daring, expensive and technologically advanced film in years, which has become the biggest moneymaker EVER. 

In the other corner, we have his ex-wife, Kathryn Bigelow - a director who has had some success with the classic Patrick Swayze/Keanu Reeves film, Point Break, but no one will ever call her Queen of the World. 

While Avatar continues to make enough money to purchase some exotic private island in the Bahamas, The Hurt Locker has barely played anywhere in America, most people have never heard of it, and it's a movie that courts controversy because it's set in the middle of the war in Iraq.  Without attention from critics' groups and other awards ceremonies in the last few months, The Hurt Locker would have disappeared and barely made a dent when it was released on DVD. 

However, Bigelow is the frontrunner for Best Director.  She has been awarded the Director's Guild Award for Best Director, and the winner of this award has won the Oscar for Best Director 55 out of 61 times.  Why?  Like with the Screen Actors Guild, many members of the Directors Guild also vote in the Oscars.  Plus, Bigelow would be the first woman to ever win Best Director. 

David slays Goliath.  The ex-wife beats the ex-husband.  A woman wins for the first time. 

Hollywood can't resist a story like that.    

Best Animated Feature

Up

Coraline

The Princess and the Frog

The Secret of Kells

The Fantastic Mr. Fox

And the winner will be ... Up.

What the heck is The Secret of Kells?  Where did this come from?  Has anyone reading this piece actually seen the movie or heard of it? 

Aside from that, Up wins because it is a very good movie.  Pixar has walked away with this award 4 of the 8 times it has been given (including the last 2 in a row) and you have to know Oscar voters are in love with Up, since it was the only animated feature to be nominated for Best Picture this year, and only the second animated film ever to be nominated for Best Picture (yes, according to Oscar rules, Avatar qualifies for the Best Animated Feature category, which would make it the third animated film in history to be nominated for Best Picture, but the studio didn't seek out an Animated Feature nomination, so this stat could end up with some sort of asterisk put next to it). 

 

Best Documentary

Food, Inc.

Burma VJ

The Cove

The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers

Which Way Home

And the winner will be ... The Cove.

This could be one of the hardest categories to predict.  Some Academy members will vote for a movie because it compels them to support a cause.  Others will vote for the movie that tells a story in the most emotional and intriguing way possible.  This year, I think The Cove covers both of those.

Best Picture

A Serious Man

An Education

Avatar

The Blind Side

District 9

The Hurt Locker

Inglourious Basterds

Precious

Up In The Air

Up

And the winner will be ... The Hurt Locker.

The folks at the Academy wanted films you actually have seen to be nominated for Best Picture, which should lead to better ratings for the Oscars show, so they expanded the pool to 10 total nominees, and it worked. 

It's hard to think The Blind Side or District 9 would have been one of the top 5, but, now, they have a chance to win the whole thing.  However, they won't.

Right now, it looks like a battle between Avatar and The Hurt Locker, just like it is a battle between James Cameron and Kathryn Bigelow in the Best Director category. 

Here's why I think The Hurt Locker wins.  First of all, the film with the most nominations wins Best Picture about 70% of the time.  With Avatar and The Hurt Locker both holding 9 nominations, one of them has a good chance at winning the big prize.

Second, 60 times out of 81, the winner of Best Director directed the winner of Best Picture.  Since I think Bigelow is taking Best Director, logic leads me to think The Hurt Locker wins Best Picture.

Third, it's an analysis of which voting bloc can be counted on.  My friend Jim Judy at Screenit.com made a very telling observation.  With 10 nominees, the support for films is spread thinner.  The winner doesn't need 50% of the vote.  The winner could have as little as 11% of the vote if every nominee gets about the same number of votes.

Independent movies like The Hurt Locker tend to draw a very supportive, vocal and loyal following, which should not waiver as the next month slowly passes.  Avatar might be the talk of the town for how much money it has earned so far, but something else will be #1 at the box office in a few weeks.     

Just keep in mind, all of those stats I just threw at you could be null and void in 2010.  This category is the one where we can see the biggest surprise because it has been many years since The Academy nominated 10 films in the Best Picture category, so we don't have anything to compare the 2010 race to. 

Back in February, I made my first round of Oscar predictions, and, well, ummmm, nothing has changed.  This has been one of the most uneventful Oscar campaigns in recent memory.  Even the small amount of controversy over The Hurt Locker doesn't seem to have enough juice to ruin its chances. 

With all of that said, who will win? 

Best Actor

Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart)

George Clooney (Up In The Air)

Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker)

Morgan Freeman (Invictus)

Colin Firth (A Single Man)

And the winner will be ... Jeff Bridges for Crazy Heart.  

After a long, distinguished and revered career in Hollywood, Jeff Bridges gets his due from the Academy voters in 2010.  He has been nominated 5 times without a win, but Bridges has been parading through Hollywood like a humble king during this year's awards season. 

Most importantly, he won the Screen Actors Guild Award for Best Actor, which is significant, since many SAG voters also vote for the Academy Awards.  It's akin to being a presidential candidate who wins the New Hampshire primary or Iowa caucuses.  Voters have spoken and given you credibility.  

Call it a Lifetime Achievement Award if you will, but Bridges has support from the acting community and many people think he deserves one of these after being passed over a few times (which can influence voters), so he's walking away with an Oscar on March 7. 

Best Actress

Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side)

Meryl Streep (Julie and Julia)

Carey Mulligan (An Education)

Gabourey Sidibe (Precious)

Helen Mirren (The Last Station)

And the winner will be ... Sandra Bullock for The Blind Side. 

Sandra Bullock wins unless she is caught driving drunk down Ventura Highway, wearing a George W. Bush costume, while singing Milli Vanilli songs to a kidnapped and crying Dakota Fanning.  Even then, it only reduces her chances to 50-50.  

When the campaign season started, I figured Bullock had a decent chance at getting a nomination, but she has rallied throughout the last few months to emerge from possible nominee to frontrunner.  

She has won the Screen Actors Guild Award for Best Actress, tied with Meryl Streep for the same award at the Critics Choice Awards, and has lots of goodwill built up in Hollywood to propel her to a victory. 

People want to see her win because she's still America's Sweetheart no matter how many bombs like All About Steve or Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood she might make.    

Sure, Meryl Streep holds the record among actors with 16 Oscar nominations, but she hasn't won since 1983 (and only won twice out of fifteen previous nominations, the only person who strikes out more is me at the club on a Saturday night).

 

Best Supporting Actress

Mo'Nique (Precious)

Anna Kendrick (Up In The Air)

Vera Farmiga (Up In The Air)

Maggie Gyllenhaal (Crazy Heart)

Penelope Cruz (Nine)

And the winner will be ... Mo'Nique for Precious.

What can you say?  Mo'Nique was magnificent in ways many didn't know she could be, and has won every award out there because of it.  You can't deny obvious genius when it occurs right before your eyes. 

Penelope can sit back and relax because she has won before. 

Gyllenhaal should be thankful she got an invitation to the party as she rode Jeff Bridges's coattails to a nomination.  

Kendrick is in the Twilight movies, and has a Tony Award nomination to go with the Oscar nomination, so that will get her plenty of work in the next few years. 

I only cry for Farmiga.  For every role in a movie like The Departed, Up In The Air and Nothing But The Truth, she gets stuck in a howler like Orphan or Joshua. 

Best Supporting Actor

Christopher Plummer (The Last Station)

Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds)

Woody Harrelson (The Messenger)

Matt Damon (Invictus)

Stanley Tucci (The Lovely Bones)

And the winner will be ... Christoph Waltz for Inglourious Basterds.

I am starting to sound like a broken record, but, like Mo'Nique, Waltz has won EVERYTHING.  He came out of European television and theaters to shock and amaze audiences as the cold, nasty, oddly charming and chillingly intelligent Nazi villain when everyone who went to see Inglourious Basterds was looking forward to seeing Brad Pitt, but walked away talking about him.      

Poor Tim Burton.  When his name gets attached to a film, the expectations and the hype explode beyond the stratosphere, and you can't live up to it every time (kind of like having a date with Megan Fox and finding out she's a nice girl who needs to be home by 11 PM).  

That's what happens with Alice in Wonderland.  It's a decent movie, but not the amazing, mindblowing, set the world on fire, change your life and curl your toes film people expect and want.

Mia Wasikowska stars as Alice - a 19-year old girl who doesn't fit in.  She's an unconventional free spirit who questions the way things are (good for her).  Yet, her sister and her mother have taken the young lady to a big, surprise engagement party, where the man who has been courting her, Hamish (Leo Bill), will be popping the big question. Unfortunately, Alice doesn't want to give him the answer men want to hear.

When the big moment arrives, Alice runs, ends up chasing a rabbit wearing a topcoat, and finds herself falling down a hole (sound familiar?).  Many in this weird world she has fallen into seem to know her and expect her to be some sort of savior, but it all just feels like a recurring dream Alice has been haunting her for the past 13 years.  

Was she here before?

Has Alice returned to Wonderland?

Is it all a dream?

Is she the right Alice?

The best decision in the movie is to make Alice in Wonderland a sequel to the tale we know.  It's a sneaky way for writer Linda Woolverton and Burton to use the familiar characters we expect to see, while creating their own story to avoid having to recreate the scenes audience members cherish from the first Alice in Wonderland movie.  You can't go home again.  You can't beat the childhood memory, and Burton and Woolverton acknowledge that in this version of Alice in Wonderland.

The movie has some great qualities.  Alice in Wonderland is a film that moves at a lightning place, never boring and never leaving the audience waiting for the next scene.  Woolverton provides some funny lines, as well as amusing scenes and reactions from the characters to help alleviate some of the scarier and more harrowing sequences that will have 5-year olds screaming in terror (more on that later).  

However, while Alice in Wonderland always has a very dreamy look, and interesting characters, the story feels mushy and flat.  This is a movie seeking energy, detail, depth of plot and purpose as Alice seems to be wandering through Wonderland (or, Underland as we are reminded several times) without much direction. 

The audience is told about the prophecy, and we wonder if Alice will believe it (of course she will), but none of it seems in question, so the whole movie is about visually stimulating us, while we wait for the big climax.  I wanted to learn more about the Red Queen's (Helena Bonham Carter) reign of terror (especially since Carter is so entertaining), the life the White Queen (Anne Hathaway) lives in exile and more.      

Alan Rickman is AWESOME as the Blue Caterpillar as he makes the character a wise mentor on one hand, and a mocking know-it-all on the other.  Depp, the King of the Misfits, is very good as the goofy Mad Hatter, and almost becomes the lead character because of his ability (and Wasikowska's lack of charm), but he suffers as the script doesn't give him much to do other than acting wacky and looking for small moments to make the character more than a goofball.    

This Alice in the Wonderland is not the animated version of Alice in Wonderland you might remember from your childhood, so I would be VERY careful about anyone over the age of 8 seeing, especially if you see the movie close to bedtime.  When the Red Queen screams, "Off with their heads," the little ones might be a bit haunted by what happens next.

 





2 ½ Waffles Out of 4

Alice in Wonderland is rated PG for fantasy action/violence involving scary images and situations, and for a smoking caterpillar.

In the 1970's, 80's and 90's, New York City and Brooklyn were portrayed in movies as dens of iniquity where evil (and rats) lurked in the shadows of every alley.  That's why we believed each case on Cagney and Lacey, NYPD Blue and Law & Order could really happen (and often was ripped from the headlines).  

However, today's New York is the cute, cuddly New York of How I Met Your Mother and Gossip Girl (no one threatens to pop a cap in Leighton Meester).  It makes the Brooklyn in Brooklyn's Finest look like an homage to a 70's Scorsese film.

Brooklyn's Finest is the tale of three officers of the law.

Richard Gere stars as Eddie - a long time NYPD officer in a Brooklyn precinct who has done everything possible to keep his head down and avoid trouble at all costs.   

Ethan Hawke is Sal - a vice squad officer also in a Brooklyn precinct, who is desperate to buy his family a new home, and willing to do something illegal and unthinkable to get his hands on some cash very quickly.

Finally, Don Cheadle is an undercover detective on the verge of getting out,  getting his life back, and getting the ultimate reward, when he's asked to gather evidence to get a former pal, Caz (Wesley Snipes), arrested (check out my interview with Wesley Snipes and director Antoine Fuqua here).

What choices will each man make as he tries to determine what is right, what is wrong and what he needs to do?

Director Antoine Fuqua vividly reminds us Brooklyn still can be a mean, dirty, gritty place if you want to find the underbelly of society, and frightens you with its stark, harsh, shocking reality.  Often times intense, Fuqua and writer Michael Martin try to avoid Brooklyn's Finest falling into clichéd storylines and plot twists, but don't always succeed, even though we do get some fun surprises.  

Luckily, they don't try to get too cute and have some massive revelation that all three cops are working on the same case, so don't look for that and you will enjoy the movie more.  These are three distinct stories, even if Fuqua has a little fun teasing the audience with how all three might interact.

Brooklyn's Finest excels when focused on its amazing cast.  I know many people like to mock Gere, but I like him.  He does a good job capturing the inner conflict and shame Eddie feels as he holds back from being a hero, as well as giving some sadness to Eddie as his career comes to an uneventful, lacking in fanfare end, while others look at him with some contempt for never accomplishing anything.

Then, you get the always awesome Cheadle with his strong take on a guy who has given everything for the job, and might never get it back.  He's bitter, angry and distrustful of each and every person along the way who tries to control him for their own benefit.  

Finally, Hawke brings some much needed conflict and energy to the most obvious and predictable role of the good man forced to do bad things to help his family.  Martin, Fuqua and Hawke all make it much better than it should be by clearly showing the opposing viewpoint so provocatively in the most intense poker game you will ever see on screen, which balances the more knee jerk bleeding heart side of the story if some in the audience think Sal is a modern day Jean Valjean (there's a story begging to be remade with today's economic turmoil as the setting).  

Brooklyn's Finest is a bit too long, and doesn't always break free from the obvious, but it's still a movie worth seeing.   Sadly, I missed the first 5 - 10 minutes of the movie (those of you who battled DC traffic after the snow storms know what I am talking about), and I hear it's the best part of Brooklyn's Finest, so make sure you get to the Cineplex with plenty of time to spare.







2 ½ Waffles (Out of 4)

Brooklyn's Finest is rated R for bloody violence throughout, strong sexuality, nudity, drug content and pervasive language.

Who needs to wait until Friday to see Alice in Wonderland?  Check out the original 1903 version.  Think Tim Burton can top these hi tech special effects? 

Many of you may have read the story last week about how the Oscar show producers considered Borat star Sacha Baron Cohen for hosting duties.  They quickly dropped the plan, and it looks like they made the right decision given they couldn't even go along with his idea for a little skit during the show.

According to many different reports, Cohen and Ben Stiller were scheduled to present an award Sunday night and the two of them had developed a comedy bit where Cohen would appear as a Na'Vi woman from James Cameron's Avatar and Stiller would be her "translator."  You can read the entire description here, but we'll jump forward in the sketch to the point where Cohen would be confronting James Cameron in the theater. 

Worried Cameron would not get the joke, based on his reputation for being a guy who isn't self-deprecating, the producers have dumped Cohen and Stiller.  Maybe Stiller will show up and do something else, but it sounds like Cohen won't even make the trip from England to LA for the show.

The whole story raises several fears I have about the Oscars show.  First, they are trying too hard to be funny.  In the past, the best comedy comes from witty writing delivered by the award presenters or the host's opening monologue.  Rarely do full bits work.  They often drag on and on making you wish you had decided to watch a re-run of Gary Unmarried instead (any program with less humor than Gary Unmarried should be banned from society, much like Gary Unmarried).

Second, are you telling me we are going to have several of these comedy bits, which will drag the show to a 4-hour running time?

Third, it sounds like James Cameron will be in the front row for the show, which means we will have to look at him all night long and watch close-ups of his non-reactions and sour reactions.  Wow.  Sounds entertaining.

I hope Ben Stiller decides to take the night off and continue working on his Zoolander 2 script.

Wesley Snipes and director Antoine Fuqua (the dude who directed Training Day and helped Denzel Washington win an OSCAR) were in DC to promote their new movie, Brooklyn's Finest. 

I had a chance to sit down and talk to them about the movie, and what they are working on for the future.  Wesley Snipes also gave me the cool dude's fist bump at the end.  I will be bragging about it until people duct tape my mouth shut.

Check out the interview here.

You know I am never above a little self-promotion, but, this time, there is something in it for you as well.

For the sixth year in a row, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (yes, THE Academy) in partnership with the Charles Guggenheim Center for Documentary Film at the National Archives and the Foundation for the National Archives will show each of the Oscar nominees for Best Documentary Feature March 3 - 7. 

Of course, you want to go.

1)  It is one of the very rare chances to see all of the nominees.  In addition to showing the Documentary Feature nominees, you can also see the Documentary Short Subject, Live Action Short Film, and Animated Short Film nominees.  Amaze the people at your Oscar party and win the Oscar pool with the knowledge you gain from seeing all of the nominees.

2)  You get to visit one of DC's true, hidden gems, The William G. McGowan Theater in the National Archives.  Not even Nicolas Cage snuck in there during National Treasure!  It's a beautiful theater, and you get to see a real Oscar.  I will be getting my picture taken with it.  You should, too.

3)  It's FREE!!!!!  

4)  Last, and certainly least, you can meet me, Willie Waffle, as I will be the host for each Documentary Feature screening.  

Learn how you can get tickets and which movies are playing on which nights, by clicking here.

I know that sounds like a haz-mat situation, but it's a parody brought to you by George Lopez and the dudes from The Jersey Shore.  It's so wrong.  It's so right.  And, it's funny.

Check it out here.

Forget about Bloods, Crips, drug dealers, murderers, extortionists, flim flam men, and insider trading con artists inspired by Martha Stewart.  Los Angeles is cracking down on the true scourge of society - Illegal Advertisers.

To gain exposure for the new movie How To Train Your Dragon, Paramount Pictures purchased advertising on a building near the Oscar telecast taking place Sunday night, which is a cool idea when you consider how many people could have seen the ad while watching red carpet coverage of the stars arriving for the big show. 

Unfortunately, the building's owner, Kayvan Setareh, ran afoul of new laws banning these so-called Supergraphics, which cloak entire structures.

Now, what do you think the police reaction was to the advertisement?  How about arresting the building's owner and a $1 Million bail.  YIKES!!!!!  I guess that scuttles my plans for a Supergraphic ad on the Washington Monument. 

Setareh's lawyer negotiated the bail down to $100,000.