Willie Waffle is the movie critic for people who hate movie critics.

The Expendables - Review

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expendablesposter.jpgIt's like Sylvester Stallone saw Tropic Thunder and said, "I can make a SERIOUS version of that!"  Then, co-writer Dave Callaham went through Sly's first draft of the script and inserted a bunch of campy moments to save us from the atrociousness.

Stallone stars as Barney Ross - leader of a group of mercenaries who call themselves The Expendables.  

Need a group of Somali pirates extinguished?  Call The Expendables!  

Need a third world dictator blown to pieces?  Call The Expendables!  

Need to find some work for the buddies you worked with in the 80's?  Call The Expendables!


As a mysterious, possibly former CIA operative, James Munroe (Eric Roberts), takes control of the cocaine trade out of a Central American island, Vilena (it's not a real country, but did the writers know about this?), another, possibly current CIA operative, Mr. Church (Bruce Willis), has asked Barney Ross and his band of merry men to go into Vilena and topple the puppet regime Munroe has installed.  Get ready for stuff to go boom!

Will The Expendables be able to defeat Munroe and the army at his disposal?

Going into The Expendables, you have the feeling you should toss out any preconceptions of what makes a movie into a good movie, and just sit back and enjoy the overwrought exercise full of shocking carnage and plenty of one-liners. 

Stallone, the team, and everyone interested in seeing the film know The Expendables is a movie where they will try to stab, shoot and blow up as many people as possible.  It's an amazing combination of totally campy and totally crappy with a plot and style straight out of 1984, which is funny to see as it brings back memories of Commando and The Specialist.
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Of course, the real reason to see The Expendables is to witness all of these action heroes put on the same screen.  Stallone and Callaham write some fun dialogue for Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren and Terry Crews to spit at each other and create some interesting camaraderie and chemistry together.  Then, Mickey Rourke shows up on a chopper left over from Harley Davidson and The Marlboro Man, which leads to an interesting performance that pretty much has nothing to do with the story, but, it's Mickey Rourke, so enjoy the ride!

We get a great appearance by Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger, which elicits the biggest cheers and laughs in The Expendables, but I have quickly become a fan of Roberts, who is great as the over-the-top, scenery chomping bad guy with the most ludicrous dialogue on Planet Hollywood.  Between this and The Losers, Roberts has found himself a campy style that will continue to deliver him work.

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2 ½ Waffles (Out of 4)

The Expendables is rated R for strong action and bloody violence throughout, and for some language.