Will this be the lowest rated Oscars telecast in the history of the Oscars? We'll know more about that later in the week, but I do know it was the most snooze inducing telecast in my memory. As we talk about this year's Oscars, the word unremarkable will come up again and again. On the positive side, the show almost ended on time. I guess that's what happens when you don't have to pause for laughter.
Franco and Hathaway proved to be non-factor hosts, and I guess that's the way The Academy wanted it. Instead of choosing a host who might ruffle feathers (and make us at home laugh), they went with people who would read the bland, uninteresting lines given to them. It was a very safe show that will be utterly forgotten by Tuesday.
Hathaway tried liked crazy to get some energy going in the theater (overdelivering her material to make up for how bad it was, like when she is on Saturday Night Live), but Franco stood there like a stone all night long (or, is that stood there stoned all night long? I won't accuse him of using drugs, because I have no proof of that, but weren't we all wondering?).
All of the big categories were very predictable, while Kirk Douglas and Justin Timberlake stole the show, Billy Crystal was called in like the cavalry, Melissa Leo should have her mouth washed out with soap (and made the only history this show will lay claim to in years to come), and the writers didn't make the presenters read horrible, unfunny dialogue this year (mostly). They gave all of those lines to hosts Anne Hathaway and James Franco.
Where did Hathaway get that see through dress she wore at the end of the show? Is going naked her move now?
By the way, who let Gwyneth Paltrow sing live?!?!?!?
Best Picture
Yep. The King's Speech pulled it off. As I mentioned, about 70% of the time, the film that garners the most nominations wins Best Picture, and that was The King's Speech this year.
Also, the winner of Best Picture is directed by the winner of Best Director 61 out of 82 times. Now, that's 62 times out of 83 times.
It was the first time in Academy history a movie featuring a member of the British royal family won Best Picture.
The King's Speech also tied with Inception for most Oscars at 4 for each of those movies.
Best Actor
Finally, Colin Firth came up with a decent acceptance speech. It might not have been poetry, but the man who has won every award out there delivered one from the heart that was touching and charming.
If you haven't seen The King's Speech, what are you waiting for?
Firth's performance is shocking. I am amazed at the way he contorts his face in pain and anguish as we see this man trying to deliver the words he can hear in his head.
Best Actress
We all knew Natalie Portman was going to win, so no big surprises there. She gave a wonderful speech. No big surprise there, either.
However, I am not happy with the introductions. I liked it when The Academy had friends, co-workers and family members of the nominees give a personal introduction full of the love and insight only someone close to them could provide.
It comes off phony when you make Jeff Bridges do it. Don't get me wrong, I love Jeff Bridges, but he doesn't know Jennifer Lawrence. He has never met her. He has never spoken to her. C'mon, don't make the guy look idiotic standing up there with some bland, meaningless statements about her. At least, let Bill Engvall wax poetic about her time on his cable comedy show.
Best Director
You can't fight history and the all important pre-cursor awards.
The winner of Best Director at the Director's Guild awards has gone on to win Best Director at the Oscars 56 out of 62 times. Make that 57 out of 63 times.
Director Tom Hooper's win for The King's Speech is a sign that this movie is unbeatable and on a massive run to win Best Picture.
Billy Crystal
The biggest secret of the show was Billy Crystal's appearance to save the day!
Yes, this year's hosts were so weak, The Academy had to call in the greatest Oscar host I have ever seen. The man was funnier in 5 minutes than the entire rest of the show. Giving us some clips of Bob Hope was an awesome way to remind young people the show has existed longer than the Twilight trilogy.
If I was Hathaway and Franco, I wouldn't be all that excited to have the entire audience reminded how Crystal was a better host.
The Middle of the Show
Oh.
My.
God.
The show is falling apart in front of our eyes! Franco and Hathaway are bombing as she shakes her dress and he tries to make jokes about movie musicals. Was that movie musical piece the worst montage you have ever seen?
At this point, the Waffle picks are on fire. I picked Best Short Doc and Best Live Action Short (see God of Love if you can. Hilarious!!!!). I know you don't care much about that, so I put this picture of Matthew McConaughey here to get your attention.
By the way, what was up with McConaughey and Scarlett Johansson? I know we have all been speculating about James Franco and the possibility he might be stoned. Were Johansson and McConaughey hanging out back stage with him. That joke where they say, "Sound" over and over again was worse than Letterman's Uma and Oprah. Maybe wearing a shirt weakens Matthew McConaughey's powers?
Best Supporting Actor
Christian Bale was the undisputed frontrunner, and he took home the Oscar for his role in The Fighter. And, he didn't cuss like co-star Melissa Leo, and made sure we all knew it.
What is up with that bushy beard?
Why is his beard a different color than his hair?
Also, did you notice we had another break with Oscar tradition? Mo'Nique, who won Best Supporting Actress last year refused to return to give away the award for Best Supporting Actor, which is what you do when you win Best Supporting Actress the year before. Waltz had an excuse (albeit, a weak one) why he couldn't do the same for Best Supporting Actress this year, but Mo'Nique outright refused to do it. Why is she angry? Is she just disinterested?
Best Supporting Actress
And, I am on the board! Melissa Leo has been winning everything during the Awards season, and I had a feeling that ad campaign towards the end would be funny and charming instead of costing her the win, but we will have to wash her mouth out with soap after she made Oscar history with her naughty mouth!
You have to love her flirting with Kirk Douglas, who gave the award away instead of Christoph Waltz, who won Best Supporting Actor last year and would have awarded the Oscar by tradition, but is stuck filming in Europe right now. Douglas, unintentionally, kept the ladies on edge for repeatedly interrupting himself while opening the envelope and refusing to read the winner's name.
However, the biggest surprise was Leo letting loose with an F-bomb in front of over 1 billion viewers. I thought Christian Bale would be the cusser, but Leo, according to The Academy, is the first person in Oscars history to drop the F-bomb. I hope you enjoy the win Melissa. You might not win ever again.
The Opening Montage and Opening Monologue
Anne and James get upstaged by their mother and grandmother. Should you really be hosting if your grandmother gets a better laugh than you? This is why I was upset The Academy didn't pick a great comedian to host the show. James and Anne might be able to smile pretty, but they aren't that funny without better lines.
And, don't steal Billy Crystal's bit if you aren't going to be funny. Yes, for those who did not see it, Anne and James were inserted into scenes from Best Picture nominees. The idea had them diving into Alec Baldwin's dreams, a la Inception, to get ideas about hosting. Baldwin was hilarious. Morgan Freeman showed up as the narrator of the dreams, which was funny. Anne and James just not funny.
The Red Carpet
I couldn't watch the whole red carpet coverage, but I think I can pick some winners and losers.
Marisa Tomei, Jennifer Hudson, Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence all look so beautiful.
Cate Blanchett looks like she was wearing a pillow case.
My favorite part was when Matthew McConaughey said, "I don't put on a tux that often." No kidding, dude. You rarely put on a shirt. Yet, you always get service.
Yep. The King's Speech pulled it off. As I mentioned, about 70% of the time, the film that garners the most nominations wins Best Picture, and that was The King's Speech this year. Also, the winner of Best Picture is directed by the winner of Best Director 61 out of 82 times. Now, that's 62 times out of 83 times.
It was the first time in Academy history a movie featuring a member of the British royal family won Best Picture.
The King's Speech also tied with Inception for most Oscars at 4 for each of those movies.
Best Actor
Finally, Colin Firth came up with a decent acceptance speech. It might not have been poetry, but the man who has won every award out there delivered one from the heart that was touching and charming.If you haven't seen The King's Speech, what are you waiting for?
Firth's performance is shocking. I am amazed at the way he contorts his face in pain and anguish as we see this man trying to deliver the words he can hear in his head.
Best Actress
We all knew Natalie Portman was going to win, so no big surprises there. She gave a wonderful speech. No big surprise there, either. However, I am not happy with the introductions. I liked it when The Academy had friends, co-workers and family members of the nominees give a personal introduction full of the love and insight only someone close to them could provide.
It comes off phony when you make Jeff Bridges do it. Don't get me wrong, I love Jeff Bridges, but he doesn't know Jennifer Lawrence. He has never met her. He has never spoken to her. C'mon, don't make the guy look idiotic standing up there with some bland, meaningless statements about her. At least, let Bill Engvall wax poetic about her time on his cable comedy show.
Best Director
You can't fight history and the all important pre-cursor awards. The winner of Best Director at the Director's Guild awards has gone on to win Best Director at the Oscars 56 out of 62 times. Make that 57 out of 63 times.
Director Tom Hooper's win for The King's Speech is a sign that this movie is unbeatable and on a massive run to win Best Picture.
Billy Crystal
The biggest secret of the show was Billy Crystal's appearance to save the day! Yes, this year's hosts were so weak, The Academy had to call in the greatest Oscar host I have ever seen. The man was funnier in 5 minutes than the entire rest of the show. Giving us some clips of Bob Hope was an awesome way to remind young people the show has existed longer than the Twilight trilogy.
If I was Hathaway and Franco, I wouldn't be all that excited to have the entire audience reminded how Crystal was a better host.
The Middle of the ShowOh.
My.
God.
The show is falling apart in front of our eyes! Franco and Hathaway are bombing as she shakes her dress and he tries to make jokes about movie musicals. Was that movie musical piece the worst montage you have ever seen?
At this point, the Waffle picks are on fire. I picked Best Short Doc and Best Live Action Short (see God of Love if you can. Hilarious!!!!). I know you don't care much about that, so I put this picture of Matthew McConaughey here to get your attention.
By the way, what was up with McConaughey and Scarlett Johansson? I know we have all been speculating about James Franco and the possibility he might be stoned. Were Johansson and McConaughey hanging out back stage with him. That joke where they say, "Sound" over and over again was worse than Letterman's Uma and Oprah. Maybe wearing a shirt weakens Matthew McConaughey's powers?
Best Supporting Actor
Christian Bale was the undisputed frontrunner, and he took home the Oscar for his role in The Fighter. And, he didn't cuss like co-star Melissa Leo, and made sure we all knew it. What is up with that bushy beard?
Why is his beard a different color than his hair?
Also, did you notice we had another break with Oscar tradition? Mo'Nique, who won Best Supporting Actress last year refused to return to give away the award for Best Supporting Actor, which is what you do when you win Best Supporting Actress the year before. Waltz had an excuse (albeit, a weak one) why he couldn't do the same for Best Supporting Actress this year, but Mo'Nique outright refused to do it. Why is she angry? Is she just disinterested?
Best Supporting Actress
And, I am on the board! Melissa Leo has been winning everything during the Awards season, and I had a feeling that ad campaign towards the end would be funny and charming instead of costing her the win, but we will have to wash her mouth out with soap after she made Oscar history with her naughty mouth! You have to love her flirting with Kirk Douglas, who gave the award away instead of Christoph Waltz, who won Best Supporting Actor last year and would have awarded the Oscar by tradition, but is stuck filming in Europe right now. Douglas, unintentionally, kept the ladies on edge for repeatedly interrupting himself while opening the envelope and refusing to read the winner's name.
However, the biggest surprise was Leo letting loose with an F-bomb in front of over 1 billion viewers. I thought Christian Bale would be the cusser, but Leo, according to The Academy, is the first person in Oscars history to drop the F-bomb. I hope you enjoy the win Melissa. You might not win ever again.
The Opening Montage and Opening Monologue
Anne and James get upstaged by their mother and grandmother. Should you really be hosting if your grandmother gets a better laugh than you? This is why I was upset The Academy didn't pick a great comedian to host the show. James and Anne might be able to smile pretty, but they aren't that funny without better lines. And, don't steal Billy Crystal's bit if you aren't going to be funny. Yes, for those who did not see it, Anne and James were inserted into scenes from Best Picture nominees. The idea had them diving into Alec Baldwin's dreams, a la Inception, to get ideas about hosting. Baldwin was hilarious. Morgan Freeman showed up as the narrator of the dreams, which was funny. Anne and James just not funny.
The Red Carpet
I couldn't watch the whole red carpet coverage, but I think I can pick some winners and losers. Marisa Tomei, Jennifer Hudson, Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence all look so beautiful.
Cate Blanchett looks like she was wearing a pillow case.
My favorite part was when Matthew McConaughey said, "I don't put on a tux that often." No kidding, dude. You rarely put on a shirt. Yet, you always get service.
*I thought Franko appeared intoxicated before the show started. Did you see him in the pre-show interview?
*Hathway looked GREAT in all her dresses and hairstyles. However, here's another sign of our Hollywood/American/Western practices of overindulgence once again! I don't tune in to see how many times the host(s) will change clothes.
*What happened to hearing "this person has been nominated X times before and won X times" as they walk up for their acceptance speech. I miss that!
* Awesome set! Love the new design and how they kept changing it. Awesome!
* I asked my friends why Christan Bales' beard is a different color than his hair too! They just said that's how it is with some guys. Kinda like how some women have a different color hair on top and down below. (I stopped with my questions after hearing that).
*I did like the Opening Monologue. Although the hosts weren't funny, I'd love to see this type of opening every year. I find it a great way to get into the spirit of the ceremony and to remember some of those movies I haven't seen in months.
*Cate Blanchett's dress. Hey, if you are only presenting, then go wild and choose a dress which looks like a 6 year old glued their plastic beaded pearl necklace all over it. Seeing pictures of the dress after the show, I see the back of it is really cool while the front is not. Too bad she couldn't have walked around backwards the entire evening.