July 2011 Archives

From the moment I saw the trailer for Crazy, Stupid, Love. I thought it was going to be love at first sight.  

C'mon!  Steve Carell, Julianne Moore, Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling all in the same movie!  It promised to be a riveting, Oscar contending movie to watch them deal with the angst and exhilaration of love.  Yet, I didn't experience true love.  I just want to be friends with Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Carell stars as Cal - a good natured guy whose world is about to be blown up.  Married for years to his high school sweetheart, Emily (Julianne Moore), she has decided to ask for a divorce after having an affair with a co-worker, David (Kevin Bacon).  

Now, Cal has started going to a local bar where the playa of all playas, Jacob (Ryan Gosling), decides to teach the old dog some new tricks to attract a new woman or two or three.  Of course, when Jacob's world is rocked by possible true love with Hannah (Emma Stone), he will have to turn to Cal for some sage advice about being a dedicated dude.

Will Cal move on from Emily, or win her back?

Can Jacob change his doggy bachelor ways to win the heart of what could be true love?

I'm sure it is one of the signs of the apocalypse, so I must warn you ahead of time.  The Smurfs are skateboarding and rapping in this movie.  What the Smurf!?!?!?!

Away in a magical forest where blue beings three apples tall live in collective harmony led by Papa Smurf (voice by Jonathan Winters) like one big family of 99 boys and 1 girl (you think poor Smurfette would get tired of all of those guys hitting on her, asking her out on dates and failing to create a Smurf TV version of Sex and The City, she can only watch so much football with the boy Smurfs), the evil wizard Gargamel (Hank Azaria) has come up with a plan to become the greatest, most powerful wizard of all by capturing Smurf essence, which promises to be painful for the Smurfs.  

While chasing the Smurfs all around the forest, Gargamel, his cat Azrael, and several Smurfs get sucked into a giant vortex that drops them in the middle of Central Park.  Now, Papa Smurf needs to figure out how to bring his fellow Smurfs back to the forest, while Gargamel continues to plot and carry out his dastardly plan against the smaller, more vulnerable group.

Can the Smurfs find their way home?

Can they handle the big bad evil New York City?

Daniel Craig stars as Jake Lonergan - a cowboy who wakes up in the middle of the desert not remembering who he is, where he is, and wearing a strange shackle around his wrist.  Upon wandering into town, the local sheriff, John Taggart (Keith Carradine), figures out Lonergan is a wanted man, so he gets ready to transport the marauder to the federal court, when aliens start to attack the town and take away some of the citizens.

Now, those left behind form a posse to hunt down the alien mothership and get their loved ones back, while Jake starts to have flashbacks that could help them defeat the aliens.  The shackle on his wrist also has some powers that might be even more important to defeating the aliens.

Never in the history of Hollywood has a project been this mocked and maligned before its release.  When announced, this Battleship movie, based on the popular game, appeared to be the ultimate stupid Hollywood idea based on the crassness of exploiting a known brand and franchise, rather than making a good movie.

Checking out this trailer, I have to admit it might be kind of cool.  And, I can't wait until they start a big battle, Liam Neeson screams out, "Bomb sector F4," and some sailor says, "Hit! WE SANK THEIR BATTLESHIP!" 

Just as NetFlix is battling bad press after increasing prices and switching around their subscription packages, and stalwart massive big box bookstore chain Borders is going out of business with discounts that make those Persian rug sales look like they are holding back, Wal-Mart has expanded its behemoth business to new heights by starting to offer DVDs streamed via WalMart.com on the same day they go on sale.

Much like iTunes, customers will be able to purchase new DVDs and download them to their computers, or rent them and stream them to be viewed within a specific window of time.  However, Wal-Mart will not be offering any unlimited packages or monthly plans.    

Yes, you have seen this movie before.  This was the same premise as No Strings Attached with Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher, which came out earlier this year (and you should always be ashamed of yourself if you are copying Ashton Kutcher).  It even was an episode of Seinfeld, so why would you waste your money now?

Justin Timberlake stars as Dylan - a talented art director recruited to work for a major magazine's website by headhunter Jamie (Mila Kunis).  During the process, the two hit it off like long lost pals, and form a friendship.  However, they are both super hot and super horny, so Dylan and Jamie decide, against all evidence to the contrary, they can have a physical-only relationship when the mood strikes, and never worry about real emotions and feelings.  

How long until Dylan and Jamie realize they are falling in love?

Chris Evans stars as Steve Rogers - a kid from Brooklyn who just wants to serve his country and beat The Nazis in World War II.  Unfortunately, he's a small guy with many physical problems, so Rogers is ruled unfit for military service even as he tries to enlist several times under different names and with different physicians all around New York City.  

This has gotten the attention of Dr. Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci) - a mysterious scientist working with defense contractor Howard Stark (Domenic Cooper), American Colonel Chester Phillips (Tommy Lee Jones) and British agent Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell) to develop a medical procedure to turn everyday soldiers into super soldiers.

When the procedure works, how can Steve Rogers best serve his country?

Not to be outdone by all of the buzz surrounding the release of The Dark Knight Rises trailer last week, the studio and producers behind The Amazing Spider-Man re-boot don't want you to forget they have a new movie coming out next July. 

Which excites you more?  Spider-Man or Batman?

Pardon me while I dance around gleefully like a 3-year old little girl who just discovered the joy, thrill and pure happiness of ice cream. 

If you were the one person on the face of the planet who didn't see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 this weekend, this is the teaser for the next Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises.

As anticipated after its record breaking opening day, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 has scored the biggest opening weekend box office take in Hollywood history, hauling in $168 Million to top The Dark Knight's $158.4 Million.

However, actual ticket sales suffered over the course of the weekend.  It came in 6th overall in actual ticket sales for an opening weekend, behind The Dark Knight, Twilight: New Moon and some Spider-Man movies.  

Yet, no one in Harry Potter world will be crying about the results.  The movie also set the record for biggest worldwide opening taking in $476 Million across the globe this weekend.

It is looking like a record breaking weekend for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 as muggles, wizards, fans and anyone with a pulse is lining up to see the final chapter of Harry Potter's amazing journey.

First, the movie set the record for biggest midnight haul with $43.5 million, defeating Twilight: Eclipse's $30 million midnight box office take last year.

Then, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 set the record for biggest opening day EVER with a box office take of $92.1 million.  It put a spell on the former record holder, Twilight: New Moon, which came in with $72.7 million on its opening day.

Before you start to think those numbers are inflated by 3D ticket sales, Box Office Mojo is reporting the $92.1 million was driven by the highest ever attendance on an opening day.  Even without the 3D prices, or slightly lower prices from years past, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 still would be #1. 

At this pace, the movie could set the record for biggest opening weekend ever, passing The Dark Knight's $158.4.  Box Office Mojo says our favorite wizard could bring in $185 million this weekend, and that's just the USA take!!!!!  Internationally, Potter also is setting records.

Do you think anyone at Warner Brothers is dialing J.K. Rowling right now and begging for another book and movie?

It's time for another visit to the Hundred Acre Wood, and the problems faced by our friends feel somewhat familiar.  Winnie the Pooh's honey has gone missing.  Then, Eeyore's tail has gone missing.  Worst of all, Christopher Robin has gone missing, and the gang has to pull together to solve all three mysteries and return their world back to normal.  

Winnie the Pooh is a welcome relief from much of what Hollywood has been (force) feeding us.  We don't have to worry about 3-D, speakers rattling from the extreme volume, inappropriate jokes about bodily functions and more.  However, Winnie the Pooh needs to embrace simplicity and quaintness throughout the entire movie.

It is heartbreaking when a venerable TV show or movie franchise goes out with a whimper and gets defined as being a shadow of its former self (jumping the shark is the easy way to say it).  You don't have to worry about that with Harry Potter!  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 is a fitting, shocking, exciting, mind blowing experience even the haters and contrarians will begrudgingly admit is pretty awesome.   

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 exactly is that, Part 2.  The movie opens where Part 1 concluded as the evil Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) steals the Elder Wand from Dumbledore's grave and sets out to kill Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe), who successfully has been weakening the dark lord by destroying the pieces of his soul that have been hidden in horcruxes all throughout England (If you have to ask, this is not the movie for you.  No background and no knowledge of Harry Potter = Go see Larry Crowne).  Voldemort, aware that he must be more proactive, has gathered his army to chase Potter back to the one place he knows the young wizard must return to in order to complete his tasks - Hogwarts.

AND IT IS ON!

Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law have been reunited for another Sherlock Holmes tale this December, but will this be the biggest trailer you will see before the new Harry Potter movie this weekend? 

Rumors have been flying that a teaser for the next Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises, will appear before this week's showings of Harry Potter.  I have one source that swears it is true.  I guess we will all find out at midnight. 

I like to consider myself someone who is good at his job and knows who will be starring in a potential major summer blockbuster release.  Yet, nowhere in any commercial, trailer or late night talk show did I see Zookeeper stars the voices of Adam Sandler, Sylvester Stallone, Cher, Maya Rudolph or Don Rickles.  Are they this ashamed of being in the movie?  Sure, they should be, but Hollywood stars usually don't care about that stuff.

Kevin James stars as Griffin - the good natured, hardworking and caring zookeeper at a Boston zoo.  Of course, it is not a glamorous job nor is it a well paying one, which causes his girlfriend, Stephanie (Leslie Bibb), to dump him. 

With the way corporate America treats its employees these days, it was only a matter of time until someone put together the ultimate revenge fantasy for every cubicle dweller, put upon administrative assistant and dedicated wage earner who makes the boss look good when he is so so bad.  On top of it all, Horrible Bosses is pretty funny, too.

Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis and Charlie Day star as Nick, Kurt and Dale - three guys who have been pushed to the edge by bosses who harass them (Dale), play mind games with them (Nick) and take advantage of them (Kurt) in ways that drive the three amigos to plot their murders to get out from under those evil thumbs. 

The studios and PR flacks for

A horse is a horse, of course, of course, but does anyone want to see a movie about this War Horse?

Here are two stories to entertain and enrage you today.

First, let's be enraged.  No one wants to be in the Spike Lee business!  Frankly, I am shocked and saddened by Lee's latest revelation that no one wants to fund a sure fire successful project - a sequel to the wildly successful Inside Man.  During a NY forum led by Charlie Rose, the director told the crowd he can't find anyone to fund the sequel, even though Denzel Washington and Jodie Foster are on board. 

Are you kidding me?

We can find money for sequels to Cars, Planet of the Apes, Final Destination and Johnny English, but not one financier thinks it is worth putting some money towards a Spike Lee movie? 

Speaking of sequels, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides passed the $1 billion mark this weekend.  It becomes the 8th movie to do so, and only sits behind Titanic and Avatar when it comes to total worldwide box office.  What does all of this mean?  Disney and producer Jerry Bruckheimer are working on Pirates 5 and 6 as we speak.  Yep.  They really are.  Any chance we can get Spike Lee to direct them?
  

With Hollywood's nicest guy and America's sweetheart starring in the same movie, you are likely to get cavities from how sweet and sugary the problems of the world can be when they are this cute.  Watching this movie will make you walk out of the theater feeling like you have spent an hour and a half watching puppy dogs and rainbows.

Tom Hanks is Larry Crowne - Navy vet, model employee and all around decent guy who loses his job because he has never been to college.  So, he decides to matriculate and takes a public speaking course taught by the bitter, boozing teacher played by Julia Roberts.  Of course, underneath all of that anger is a woman who just wants to believe and love again.

Will Larry Crowne melt her heart?

Does he have what it takes to do well?