November 2011 Archives

For my money, the scariest movie I have ever seen (and, therefore, the scariest movie EVER), is the original version of The Woman in Black. 

A BBC TV movie from 1989, the production crew and director had to come up with a way to scare you out of your underpants without a huge budget for special effects, and without the kind of bloody mayhem some consider to be horror. 

They did it.  The movie has lived on in the hearts and minds (and underpants) of many British fans, which is why CBS Films is bringing it back for an update.  And, if it is going to be British, you need the greatest young British star of them all.  When they couldn't get Pippa (HA HA), the producers turned to Daniel Radcliffe.  Harry Potter is ready to help scare you, and the trailer looks like it is bringing the spirit of the original back to the screen. 

Don't call it a comeback.  The Muppets never went away.

Jason Segel stars as Gary - a lovable guy from Smalltown, USA who has been dating Mary (Amy Adams) for ten years (I guess Beyonce isn't played on the radio in Smalltown).  To celebrate, they are taking a trip to Hollywood, where they hope to see the old Muppets studio and theater.  Because he loves The Muppets more than anyone else on the planet, Mary and Gary agree to bring along Gary's brother, Walter (who is a muppet). 

While touring the dilapidated, abandoned studio, Walter learns an evil, subtly named businessman, Tex Richman (Chris Cooper), is taking the land and bulldozing the studio because billions of dollars in oil lie underneath.  The only way he can be stopped is if The Muppets come up with $10 million to buy out the contract.  

Even though they have gone their separate ways, can Kermit and the gang reunite to put on a show to save the Muppet studio?

Will Miss Piggy agree to come back from France?

If your kid is begging to see Arthur Christmas, you're in luck.  It's a cute holiday film (as opposed to that Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked monstrosity that is coming up in a couple of weeks, not that I am biased or judging a book by its cover or anything). 

In this animated tale, James McAvoy provides the voice for Arthur - Santa's son, who is quite a bit clumsy, so he has been assigned to the mailroom, where he responds to various letters from children all over the world (and, it turns out Santa's family is British because they keep saying, "Happy Christmas" instead of "Merry Christmas."  The Brits are weird that way).  While Arthur has the heart of gold, his brother, Steve (Hugh Laurie), has a brilliant brain for organization, so it looks like he is next in line to be Santa Claus as Dad (Jim Broadbent) prepares for what could be his last Christmas.

Unfortunately, as everyone is celebrating a successful Christmas mission, Bryony the Elf (Ashley Jensen), discovers one child's present accidentally was left at the North Pole.  Unwilling to admit a flaw in his system, Steve doesn't think it is a big deal, and Santa, who is tired from the whole night of chimneys and stockings, just wants to get to sleep.  Feeling all of Christmas will be ruined if this one child is left behind, Arthur teams up with his grandfather, Grandsanta (Bill Nighy),and Bryony on a mission to deliver the present before the little girl wakes up.

Will Grandsanta, Bryony and Arthur succeed at their mission, even though they are doing it old school style with reindeer and a sled?

Why does Grandsanta want to help?

Why is the Santa Claus family so dysfunctional?

Everyone keeps talking about how Michelle Williams is magnificent as Marilyn Monroe.  And, she is.  However, I was quite shocked to sit through the whole movie before realizing Kenneth Branagh was playing Laurence Olivier (let's call it a chameleon-like performance by Branagh, not Willie being totally clueless and forgetting he saw Branagh's name in the opening credits). 

Based on two books by the guy we are about to mention to the right, Eddie Redmayne plays Colin Clark - a well-to-do young man who wants to get into the movie making business.  Through some connections and an extremely persistent attitude, Colin finds himself working as a production assistant on a new Laurence Olivier movie, The Prince and The Showgirl.

While working with Olivier is quite exciting, Clark, and everyone else associated with the picture, is ecstatic to be working with Olivier's co-star, Marilyn Monroe (Williams).  Of course, backstage drama ensues as Monroe is a fragile, insecure actress trying to live up to the demands and filmmaking style of her co-star, while also being mobbed by adoring fans and paparazzi wherever she goes.  Marilyn's only refuge is the country estate where she is staying, and some fun, maybe romantic, moments she spends with Colin.

Will Colin's heart be broken?

Can Marilyn get it together to finish the movie?

This is the Twilight movie where things start to get a little silly.  I know.  You are sitting there screaming at the computer, "THIS IS THE ONE WHERE THINGS GET SILLY?"

Forget about easing into the movie, or reminding you what came before, or building a plot.  Director Bill Condon and writer Melissa Rosenberg (based on the novel by Stephenie Meyer) jump right into it as Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) plan their wedding (and get married right away). 

Of course, this does not please werewolf boy Jacob (Taylor Lautner, who rips off his shirt 60 seconds into the movie, which makes The Amazing Shirtless Matthew McConaughey applaud the brash move, but also feel a touch of envy), so he runs away to nowhere in particular. 

However, all sorts of conflict and controversy arise when Edward impregnates Bella on the honeymoon!  Since this is an unholy union between a vampire and a human, no one is really sure what the baby will be like (part demon/part human?  Will it look like Rob Schneider?), but they do quickly discover this baby will gestate in world record time, and seems to be killing Bella in the process!

Will Bella survive the birth?

Will the werewolves capture this demon seed, or can the vampires protect it?

Will Jacob seek revenge on Edward if Bella dies?

Will the theater explode in a sea of teenage hormones when Edward and Bella get it on?

George Clooney shows up for Oscar season more reliably than Elmer Fudd shows up for the first day of Rabbit Season (or maybe that's Duck Season), so get ready for The Descendants. 

Clooney stars as Matt - a Hawaiian husband struggling with two of the biggest challenges of his life. 

After a boating accident, his wife is in a coma, and her prognosis is dire. 

Additionally, Matt starts to act as the primary parent to his two daughters, a role he is not familiar with, as he begins to notify everyone close to his wife that they need to prepare to say goodbye.  However, his teen daughter, Alex (Shailene Woodley), drops a bombshell. 

Mom was cheating on Matt.

Can Matt go on and complete his final duties as a husband in light of this betrayal?

Will Matt find the man his wife was fooling around with?

I have to admit, I don't get The Hunger Games, understand what it's about or feel it will be the next Twilight or Harry Potter, so I need you to tell me. 

What's the big deal with The Hunger Games?

Are you excited by the trailer?

Is it everything you hoped for?

Check it out below.

All anybody wants to talk about is J. Edgar Hoover wearing a dress!  However, director Clint Eastwood wants to make you realize the movie J. Edgar is about more than that, but ... he also puts Leonardo DiCaprio in a dress (and he's got the legs for it). 

DiCaprio stars as J. Edgar Hoover - the controversial, innovative, treacherous G-Man who worked his way into a position of power to run and revolutionize the FBI for 48 years.  While in his twilight and dictating his life story to press agents in an effort to tell his side of the story, we look back over his time in the bureau, the relationships in his life, and what drove him to be the man he was.

See Willie Waffle with Clint Eastwood at DC50tv.com.

I wish I was exaggerating when I tell you Jack and Jill is the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life.  Worst of all, Adam Sandler somehow convinced, bribed or forced Al Pacino at gun point to play a major supporting role in the film.  At this time, I can only assume the real Al Pacino has been kidnapped by aliens and they have replaced his body with a creature determined to ruin his legacy in an attempt to take over the planet as we weep for the one time greatest actor of a generation.

Sandler stars as Jack - a successful advertising agency president living the big life in California.  Every year, for Thanksgiving, his annoying, loud, obnoxious twin sister, Jill (Adam Sandler), comes to visit, but, this year, she doesn't want to go home.  Sensing this visit could ruin the big family cruise he has scheduled, Jack decides he must find Jill a man to distract her.

Is there any man on the planet who wants Jill?

Will Jack learn to appreciate the sister he dreads so much?

Will you promise to keep sharp objects out of my reach while I recover from seeing this?

I see Lars Von Trier movies to remind me why I hate Lars Von Trier movies.  He has his fans, but I honestly can't think of one good thing to say about any one of his movies I have had the unfortunate circumstance to watch. Not even a naked Kirsten Dunst makes Melancholia memorable or interesting.

Dunst stars as Justine - a horribly depressed woman on her wedding day.  As she delays the ceremony, we watch her family going at each other's throats and wallowing in battles that must have been waged over many years.  However, everything is being done in the shadow of what could be a horrible disaster.

A big blue planet about the size of Earth is making its way through the cosmos in a possible collision course with us.  All of the experts and leaders don't want us to panic, and believe the planet will miss Earth, but, this is a Lars Von Trier movie, so you just know doom and gloom is on the way and that rock is going to crash into this rock.

After a tumultuous week, new co-producer Brian Grazer has thrown a hail mary pass to save the 2012 Oscars telecast by bringing back Billy Crystal.  But, is this a great idea? 

The popular comedian, who has hosted the Oscars 8 times, will return for a 9th turn at the podium after Eddie Murphy quit the job earlier this week. 

Murphy, in what was seen as a sign of solidarity, informed the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences he would be stepping aside after producer Brett Ratner, who hired Murphy, resigned in the wake of a massive controversy he started by uttering a homophobic slur and going on the The Howard Stern Show to tell inappropriate stories about sexual encounters with Lindsay Lohan and Olivia Munn. 

After his appearance at the 2011 Oscars, a groundswell of support emerged to bring back Crystal, considered by many to be one of the greatest Oscars hosts in history.  One might even argue he made the appearance in an attempt to ask for the job back.  However, was this a wise move?

In one of the most shocking stories to come out of Hollywood in a long time, Eddie Murphy has quit as Oscars host after telecast producer Brett Ratner stepped down following a massive call for his resignation after uttering a homosexual slur and conducting a randy interview on The Howard Stern Show.

Ratner, who directed Murphy in the new movie, Tower Heist, was the driving force behind asking Murphy to host the show and convincing the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to hire the legendary funny man.  Tower Heist and the hosting gig were seen as major comeback vehicles for the star after years of critically and commercially unsuccessful films.

I am completely, utterly blown away by this decision.  Like I said last night, this was the biggest and best opportunity for an Eddie Murphy comeback, and I never thought he would pass on it, even if Ratner was forced out.  Did Ratner ask Murphy for a show of solidarity?  Did Murphy do this out of loyalty to his pal?

I admire loyalty, but Murphy should not be letting loyalty to anyone stand in the way of the biggest opportunity of his career, especially when Ratner deserved to be forced out of the producer gig.  

With Eddie out, who will be the next host of the Oscars?  The Academy will have to go all out and pick one of the biggest stars in the universe to overcome this very complicated turn of events.  It has to be someone as big as Murphy, and someone considered to be as funny and talented. 

Will it be Billy Crystal returning to the stage?  Will Jerry Seinfeld get a large enough financial offer to take the risk?  Will the Academy turn to a star who is not normally a host, like George Clooney?

Hollywood's biggest soap opera has begun.

It was a very bad week for Brett Ratner, and he has no one to blame, but himself.

While promoting his new movie, Tower Heist, the bad boy director and 1st time Oscars telecast producer made several controversial statements, the worst being, "rehearsals are for f*gs," when he appeared at a Q & A held after a showing of the movie. 

Also, he went on The Howard Stern Show to discuss a possible sexual encounter with Olivia Munn, masturbation, oral sex, and a possible sexual encounter with Lindsay Lohan. 

The gay slur was completely unacceptable, and, even after he apologized earlier this week, the groundswell of support for firing him from the Oscar telecast was too much.  Academy President Tom Sherak acknowledged Ratner's apologies, but accepted his resignation on Tuesday.

So, does this mean Eddie Murphy will decide to step down as host?  Ratner was the man who convinced Murphy to take the job and talked the Academy into hiring the legendary funny man to be the host.  Eddie is a loyal man, but he's also a smart guy who realizes this chance is a chance of a lifetime.  Murphy hasn't made any statements regarding the controversy, but I don't think Ratner will ask him for a sign of solidarity. 

The director wanted Murphy to be in Tower Heist and host the Oscars to help him make a career comeback, and I think, given how Ratner stepped down from the telecast without a fight, he will tell Eddie to do the show.  It's too much for Eddie to sacrifice. 

I was tempted to share the new trailer for 21 Jump Street starring Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum, but, after deep reflection, I didn't feel I could thrust such horrible poison upon your impressionable and sensitive eyes.   Seriously, it could be the worst trailer I have ever seen.  Look it up on YouTube if curiosity gets the best of you. 

Suffice it to say, I hope Johnny Depp, if he has a cameo in the movie, has a clause in his contract allowing him to withdraw his participation once he sees the trailer.  Somewhere, in a dark, quiet corner of Los Angeles, Holly Robinson Peete is getting over the snub of not being asked to be in the movie.  Sometimes, you dodge the bullet without trying.

On that note, check out the trailer for Safe House, which looks much cooler and has some scenes shot in DC! 

This movie is so mischievous, you might have to be Gandhi or Mother Theresa to get off of Santa's naughty list after buying a ticket. 

Kal Penn is back as Kumar, and life isn't working out very well for him.  It is about 6 years since the incidents of the second Harold and Kumar movie, and the two pals have grown apart.  Kumar has flunked out of med school for failing a drug test and spends his days in the old apartment playing video games, while Harold (John Cho) has gone on to a successful career in finance, has gotten married and is trying to have a baby with the lucky lady. 

On Christmas Eve, a mysterious package shows up at Kumar's door for Harold, and he decides he should bring it over to his pal.  However, once at Harold's house, the very special Christmas tree brought in by Harold's very frightening father-in-law, Mr. Perez (Danny Trejo), gets burned down. 

Click Here to See Willie Waffle with John Cho and Kal Penn on NewsPlus.

Ben Stiller stars as Josh - the hardworking manager at an uber-luxury condo complex in Manhattan.  He'll never become a millionaire, but Josh is the best manager you could ever dream of, and he admires the building's richest, most notable resident, Arthur Shaw (Alan Alda).  He's the kingpin of investing, and so prolific Josh convinces Arthur to manage the staff's pension funds. 

Unfortunately, Arthur is a ponzi schemer in the mold of Bernie Madoff, and all of the money he "invested" went to covering the scam and is lost forever (it would have been hilarious if Kevin Bacon could have been worked in and got revenge on the Madoff-like character, but I digress).  When he is placed under house arrest in his swanky penthouse and they start to realize the thief might have stored away many millions, Josh and other employees bilked in the scheme decide they are going to break in and get some justice by taking the money for themselves.

Does Arthur have millions hidden in the penthouse?

Can these honest, working class folks find a way to steal it without getting caught or letting their consciences get the best of them?

You have to be careful when handicapping the Oscar races early.  Over the summer, this seemed like a possible shocker and Cinderella story coming from nowhere to capture the hearts and minds of the voters.  Then, we saw the movie.

Anton Yelchin stars as Jacob - a college kid studying furniture design who meets the love of his life, Anna (Felicity Jones).  They have a great senior year doing all of the things two crazy kids in college and in love would do, but it's all going to come to an end, since she is British and will have to return to London after her Visa expires. 

Is this just a school child affair, or can they make it last as a long distance relationship?

It was a short hearing this morning in Los Angeles, and Lindsay Lohan was given yet another chance to avoid going to jail, but she first has to go to jail for 30 days.

Judge Stephanie Sautner accepted Lohan's admission that she violated her probation and her decision to bypass the hearing she was entitled to under the law. 

The judge revealed she had reached out to another charitable service to see if they would accept Lohan to complete her community service, but they refused, saying her lifestyle and behavior was not the example they wanted for the women who receive their help. 

That leaves Lindsay with only one place that wants her - The LA Morgue!