Willie Waffle is the movie critic for people who hate movie critics.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 - Review

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twilightbreakingdawnpart2poster.jpgAfter 4 books, 5 movies and over $1 billion in tickets sold, it all is coming to an end (unless Stephenie Meyer decides she needs another mansion and writes one more book).

While she might have been put through heck and back while giving birth to Renesmee, Bella (Kristen Stewart) now is a vampire!  She's loving every minute of it as she experiences super strength, super sight, super hearing (and a little bit of super vampire sexy time with her hubby).  However, even though the Cullen clan is doing its best to keep Renesmee a secret, and Edward (Robert Pattinson) is worried about their future, The Volturi (think of them as the evil, bad guy vampires) have discovered her existence and mistakenly fear the kid might be an immortal child, which threatens the safety of vampires everywhere. 

Oh, and in the creepiest moments you will ever experience in a movie, it turns out werewolf boy Jacob (Taylor "Auditioning for Magic Mike 2" Lautner) has "imprinted" with Renesmee, which is just as disturbing as you think it is.

Will The Cullens be able to defeat The Volturi when the inevitable battle begins?

Will Chris Hansen and the Dateline NBC team burst out of the woods to catch that predator Jacob?

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 has some of the most groan inducing and laugh inspiring acting and dialogue of the series, and that's saying something. However, it also might be one of the stronger installments in the franchise.  Hold your horses before you get all excited about that statement!  Everything is relative.

While she might be writing for an audience mainly comprised of teens, that doesn't mean screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg has to make the dialogue so simple, ridiculous and laughable.  She has to stay true to Meyer's books, but let's step it up a notch! 

Some of the words coming out these characters' mouths are outrageously silly, especially moments like the chief Volturi vampire having a reaction to Renesmee that is only beaten on the creepy scale by Jacob's adoration of the young child, or when Bella gets angry about Jacob's pet name for the kid.

Then, get ready to see more of those amateurish special effects.  Bella and Edward running and jumping through the woods, the werewolves lumbering around and the facial expressions they put on the baby's face all make you wonder if they farmed all of that work out to some Third World country using Mattel Barbie PCs.
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Stewart and Lautner are stiff and flat until they overdo it with moments of rage and anger that are anything but believable.  Russian vampires show up with atrocious, stereotypical accents.  The Amazonian vampires are so emotionless you might mistake them for porno actresses (especially while wearing their Amazonian garb, which looks like leftover clearance sale Halloween costumes).   

Yet, I will admit, at least The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 has a decent, focused plot that builds up to a massive, kind of cool climactic battle.  When The Cullens and The Volturi throw down, director Bill Condon is at his best with breathtaking fights and shocking results.

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1 ½ Waffles (Out of 4)

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 is rated PG-13 for sequences of violence including disturbing images, some sensuality and partial nudity