Willie Waffle is the movie critic for people who hate movie critics.

Willie Waffle: April 2010 Archives

nightmareonelmstreetposter.jpgFreddy Krueger is back to haunt your dreams the way I am still haunted by the time I went to that vegetarian restaurant by accident.  Yes, you will be just as unsatisfied as I was (broccoli must be accompanied by NY Strip or it isn't worth it).

Anchorman 2? Ghostbusters 3?

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anchorman.jpgOne of these highly anticipated comedy sequels could be coming to a theater near you, but which one looks hopeful, while the other might not be happening at all?

Thumbnail image for bretmichaels.jpgRocker and reality TV star Bret Michaels remains in critical condition at an undisclosed ICU on Sunday night, and faces tough odds in the days and weeks ahead.

TMZ obtained research from Cedars Sinai indicating 33% of those who have a brain hemorrhage like Michaels die due to extensive brain damage, and 20% to 30% of those who survive the first incident suffer a second incident, which has a 70% mortality rate.  Fortunately for Michaels, he sought medical help quickly.

Many are wondering how Donald Trump and The Celebrity Apprentice may address Michaels on Sunday evening's program.  The Poison front man has been a major star on the show, even leading some to predict he could win the whole thing.  The series was taped in NYC last fall, so Michaels will appear on tonight's episode. 

Trump issued a statement on Sunday indicating he was, "deeply saddened" to hear of Michaels' health problems, and, "He's a great competitor and champion," said Trump, "and I hope he will be fine."  

Oscar Party Crashers?

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oscar.jpgStep aside Michaele and Tareq Salahi, we could be looking at the biggest gatecrashing scandal in Oscars history, or someone was wronged and will be getting paid! 

bretmichaels.jpgTonight, People Magazine is reporting rocker and reality TV star Bret Michaels is in critical condition due to bleeding at the base of his brain near the brain stem. 

The 47-year old Michaels suffered an acute and painful headache on Thursday night, which lead to a battery of tests including a CAT Scan, MRI and Angiogram. 

This latest health problem comes on the heels of his emergency appendectomy on April 12 in San Antonio.  Doctors are trying to determine if this is related to that recent surgery or Michaels' lifelong battle with diabetes or some other condition.

Michaels is being treated at an undisclosed hospital.


 

 

The Losers - Review

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losersposter.jpgThe Losers feels dumbed down to appeal to thirteen year old boys instead of fully realizing its potential for greatness.  Rather than getting The Dark Knight or Pulp Fiction, the audience is left with G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra

The Back-Up Plan - Review

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backupplanposter.jpgThe Back-Up Plan is the movie they should show the condemned while they ride the ferry crossing the river Styx.

Death at a Funeral - Review

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deathatafuneralposter.jpgI was laughing so much, I forgot it was a Martin Lawrence movie!

Kick-Ass - Review

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kickassposter.jpgAaron Johnson stars as Dave - a nerdy, unassuming high school geek who finds himself getting pushed around by everyone, and he's sick and tired of it. 

Still suffering from the loss of his mother, somewhat distant from his father, and the target for street toughs everywhere he goes, Dave decides it is time for someone to start standing up for the little guy, and comes up with a plan to become a superhero named Kick-Ass.
  
harrypotter wand control.jpgLumos Mobiliarbus!
     

Top Hollywood Tax Woes

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IRSLogo.jpgThe only people Hollywood stars hate more than movie critics are IRS agents! 

George Harrison even hated the tax collector so much he wrote a song about it!!!!  

As you rush off to the post office to beat the April 15 deadline (and write that check out to the Department of Treasury, because anyone who had a refund coming already filed), consider these 5 to have some of the biggest tax woes in Hollywood history. 

Some brought the troubles onto themselves, while others were victims of circumstance and employees who didn't do their jobs correctly.


Conan O'Brien Lands on TBS!

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conanobrien.jpgWow!  Whoever had TBS in the Conan O'Brien pool just scored a handsome reward.

Date Night - Review

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datenightposter.jpgBefore you read this review, you must know 20th Century Fox tried to win my affections by offering free popcorn and soda when I went to see Date Night.  Journalistic ethics prevented me from taking that popcorn.  My cravings for caffeine and an overpowering thirst forced me to enjoy the soda (It was hot and I walked all the way to the cineplex!).
 

The Runaways - Review

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runawaysposter.jpgGet ready to see Dakota Fanning in ways you never imagined, never wanted to see, can't believe with your own eyes and make you feel very very dirty.  

The Eclipse - Review

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eclipseposter.jpgGet ready for some Irish haunting, fighting and angst.  That's my kind of movie!

The Ultimate American Idol

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obama.jpgConan O'Brien might be banned from appearing on American Idol's big charity special, but The Obamas have taped a special message to appear during the annual show. 

Right about now, Bill Clinton has to be seething with jealously as President Obama has had meetings and hosted events with Jay-Z, Beyonce, Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg, Justin Bieber, JK Rowling, the cast of Glee and more in just the last month!  Maybe he can run his own talent agency when he's down with this politics thing (Watch out CAA!  The Prez can even turn to bulldog Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel and his uber agent brother, Ari Emanuel, to help get the shingle hung).

It makes you wonder why Kumar decided to leave the White House to make the next installment of Harold and Kumar.  He could network better and score a production deal just by walking the hallways of the White House. 


potterphoto.jpgDC Harry Potter fans are wishing they tried to score tickets to the annual White House Easter Egg Roll because J.K. Rowling herself will be making an appearance at DC's hottest event. 

I don't know about you, but I'm not sure I trust any British folks at the White House given how they burned the place down back in 1814, so make sure Secret Service keeps their eyes on the author. 

If you can't get to the South Lawn (kids have to be under 12 years old to participate in The Roll, and have to be better connected than I am), Ms. Rowling will be reading portions of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone live from 1:30 - 2ish PM on WhiteHouse.gov

Does anyone have a child under 12 years old I can rent for the afternoon this Monday?
 
leonardodicaprio.jpgWhile you might think Leonardo DiCaprio only works with Martin Scorsese, he has a bit of a wandering eye, and might be teaming up with Clint Eastwood.  Can you picture DiCaprio as J. Edgar Hoover?

Clash Of The Titans - Review

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clashofthetitansposter.jpgGo ahead and release your inner Kraken.  

Sam Worthington stars as Perseus - the adopted son of a fisherman rescued from the ocean when he was a small boy.  How did he end up in the ocean? 

It turns out his father is Zeus (Liam Neeson), who knocked up the Queen, so the King dumped her into the ocean, along with Perseus (Sandra Bullock is considering the same for Jesse James).  After that kind of abandonment, you can understand why Perseus is not a fan of his real daddy or any of the gods (I'm sure he would also hate Jesse James).