Dating is a sport and we know that men love sports. So for them, dating is generally fun and enjoyable. However, too many women don't want to have fun dating, they just want to find a husband. If your only focus in life is to find a husband, you will miss all the enjoyment and personal development opportunities that dating adds to your life.
So you will have to learn how to get in the dating game, compete, and have fun! Because dating is a sport, you will have to practice dating until you become in control of your dating life. Just like an athlete trains and practices to compete and win, you will have to practice to begin to win the dating game and achieve the results you desire.
If you are divorced or over thirty-five, dating for you has its own advantages. By now, you should be much clearer on what you need and want out of a relationship. On the home front, you likely have no one to answer to but yourself, and you can spend this time, maybe for the first time, thinking about what you want and need out of life. We've all heard that women reach their sexual prime in their thirties, so by this time, you should be more confident in your body and sexuality. Don't worry about not having a young perky body. You're likely to be more financially stable, so you can afford to pay for a trainer or for cosmetic surgery to tighten things up--if that makes YOU feel more confident with your body. If you are not as financially established, there are places that offer free or low cost gym memberships (e.g., the YMCA) and several books that you can buy to learn how to get in great shape. You have the freedom and flexibility to live your life the way you want, how you want, and where you want. This is the time to enjoy your newfound freedom and follow your heart wherever it leads you. It is never too late to reinvent yourself and have the life that you've always wanted.
When I date, I have no pre-conceived ideas on what the outcome should be. Personally, I am not looking to get married again, but I'm not opposed to the idea either. If I meet someone who makes me feel that being married to them is better than the luxuries of my single life, then I would consider getting married again. The most important thing to me is to have quality, meaningful relationships with men with similar dreams, goals and interests in life.
As you begin to change your views and approach to dating, be enthusiastic about the process. Some of the dating tips and strategies in my book, WHY I LOVE MEN: THE JOYS OF DATING, will work well for you and others will not. Life is a process of trying different things; if one thing doesn't work, then try something else until you achieve your goals. Be prepared to run into obstacles, and when you do, maintain your enthusiasm and energy level through this process and don't get discouraged. Be open to new experiences and expect to fail a few times as you began to take control of your dating life.
The secret is to keep moving forward, despite the failures and setbacks. Take it one day at a time, have fun along the way, and eventually you will have manifested the life and the love you desire!
J.J. Smith (http://www.jjsmithonline.com) is a Dating/Relationship Author/TV Personality aka DC's Dating Diva on The CW (DC50)! Featured on NBC, FOX, ESSENCE, GLAMOUR, Jamie Foxx Show, Montel Williams, Michael Baisden Show & others! J.J. Smith is the author of Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating. More information on J.J.'s dating advice can be found on her website at www.jjsmithonline.com. She is also the host of "Real Talk with JJ and The Fellas" which offers an intelligent, provocative discussion on dating, love, sex and relationships. J.J. may be contacted by email at info@jjsmithonline.com.
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