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Fast face
Sam Fine gives the girls a "makeup" lesson so they can do their own faces in a pinch. Our takeaway was that you only need four products: concealer, bronzer, mascara and gloss. Thanks Sam!

Nigel and his wife are totally out of place at Walmart
The girls show up at Walmart parking lot where they meet Nigel and his gorgeous wife, Chrissy Barker (so many reasons to be jealous, so little time!). The couple tells the girls about their challenge -- the "One Stop Shop CoverGirl Challenge." They have to race through the store, to different departments where they will put their "look" together as if they were going to a go-see. The hitch -- there isn’t enough items for the amount of girls. So if you don't get an item at, say, shoes, you're out! The first three girls who make it to the finishing line will be judged by the delicious Barkers. The girl with the most perfect over-all look wins.

We don't think we even need to tell you that things got ugly. There was pushing and shoving and overall nastiness. Laura was one of the first ones eliminated and that was pretty surprising because she's always talking about Walmart. Sundai ends up winning and everyone hates Erin -- especially Ashley.

Beauty shot time
The girls show up for their photo shoot and Tyra announces that she will be behind the camera. This week there's a twist. The best photo of the shoot will be announced on the spot and that model will be safe from eliminated this week.

Modeling H2T
As usual, the contestants absolutely love shooting with Tyra. And we've got to hand it to the supermodel, she really brings out the best each of the girls and we get fun sayings like "...you always model head to toe, H2T," "...she's counting on the DNA" and
"Don’t forget to smize." Brittany got best photo of the shoot and at least Erin can rest easy -- all of the girls hate Brit again. Not only is she not going to be eliminated this week, but she gets to do a photo shoot for tyrabanks.com with a couple of hot male models. The others were forced to watch, shooting little pretend daggers from their eyes the entire time.

The Seriously? Award goes to…
For some reason just about every contestant in Cycle 13 can't seem to dress herself. Maybe we're just missing our fashionistas from last Cycle, but these girls are terrible. The producers should throw in some challenges where the prizes are a wardrobe update because it's hard to watch. At least Bianca looked hot.

Great quotes—hilarity ensues

"Havin' a one-one-one make up lesson with Sam Fine is awesome. All girls need to know basics to make up and everything. It was really enjoyment." Laura

"Obviously a lot of the girls don't know how races work. Races don’t have manners." Erin

"Ashley, what remnant bin were you rummaging through?" Miss J on Ashley’s outfit at panel

"Bring out the fried chicken, Laura is here." Tyra

Time to go
It seems like it's been coming for awhile, as Bianca has been on the bottom two three times. She was doing better and getting softer, but for some reason, Bianca can't translate that softness to the camera. It's too bad, because she has a unique look. Ashley joined her but was saved -- wonder if she'll continue to talk badly about the other girls or if SHE'LL soften up now.

Tyra told Ashley that she was the hardest model to shoot and yet she remains in the running while Bianca was improving and was sent home. Did the judges choose the right girl to eliminate this week? Tell us here!

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Here are some of the ways the truth came to bite our favorite West Bev residents in the butt this week:

Finally! Liam bests Jen!
Probably our favorite storyline of the night involved Liam and Jen. She's just so mustache-twirlingly eeeevil, and we enjoyed see her self-satisfaction get the better of her. When Liam discovers that Jen is actually flat broke and married to an impoverished French noble (and who hasn't been there…) he threatens to tell Naomi unless Jen comes clean about the bom-chicka-wow she initiated on prom night. Alas, Jen beats him to the punch -– but she's undone when she comes back to gloat. Naomi will never believe we slept together, she sneers. She might, especially now that Liam recorded Jen saying that on his cell phone. Hah!

Annie's admirer (?)
Gotta love Beverly Hills, where even the homeless have cash to donate to their alma maters. Yep, Annie's hit-and-run victim was a West Bev alum, and Jasper, his nephew, is in the school now. Annie gets all teary in his general direction, and Jasper is either deeply touched or higly suspicious. Now Annie's either got a new friend (and heaven knows she needs one!) or a dangerous stalker bent on revealing the truth. We're betting on the latter!

I might like you better if we slept together
Ades is in a pickle – she gets a sweet role, and that makes Navid all sulky. Sigh. It's like one step forward, two steps back with this boy! Granted, going to Teddy for advice and comfort probably wasn't the best move on Adrianna's part... was anyone surprised by the smooching? (As it was in last week's preview, we're guessing no.) But as distressed as we were by the illicit lip-lock, we have to say what happens next is even worse: Ades tells Navid that's it's finally time to make him a man. Oh, Adrianna... NOW you decide to make Navid's naughty dreams come true? Sigh...

Porn and consequences
Dixon's still lying to Sasha, which gets sticky when the car breaks down and she finds a trunk full o' porn. Oops! Yeah, about that, Dixon lies, I'm, um, a porn financier. (At least he didn't say porn star...) Sasha says she's ok with it, but she does a little spying and sees Dixon hugging Debbie at his front door. Yes, Sasha, Dixon likes older women -– but we're talking women your age, not Debbie's!

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We've got a runner
When a couple of police detectives show up at MP to talk to Violet, she asks them to let her get dressed. While they wait she slips out the bathroom window. Oh, Crazy Violet -- apparently she's "afraid" of cops. She shows up at Jane's shop, announces that she is family and that she needs her help. Jane's kind to her face and then calls the authorities.

There's more after the jump!

Riley's too nice
After pitching he fiancé's movie to a big-time director (who sounds interested!), and getting them into the swanky after party, Riley takes a call from Violet (who has been phoning everyone in the building) who is in jail. Turns out, she stole from her parents in order to get to LA to meet Syd. And no one is interested in eating the treats she bakes Riley for bailing her out of jail.

With friends like these...
Ella tells David that Jane has Sydney's private files, her emails and all kinds of dirt on her. Meanwhile, David's been followed by a private detective who is very bad at his job. He watches David have sex in his car and follows the guy for days. But when does David decide to confront him? At the restaurant, right before the party. That's what friends are for, right? He was supposed to be there helping Auggie with a favor that he owed him. Thanks for the solid, dude. As a result, Auggie doesn’t get his promotion. Maybe the guy should stop moping and find himself another restaurant and a nicer boss!

However, David does come to the rescue after Ella allows her starlet to wear something other than Jane's dress down the red carpet. He tells Ella that Jane used to be married to his father and he'd be happy to dig up some dirt on her. He offers to bury her for Ella. Aw, shucks -- that’s sweet of the guy. She may be a full head taller than him but Ella and David make a cute, albeit dysfunctional couple. Too bad his threats didn't help -- Jane calls the detectives with proof that Ella had every reason to want her sister dead.

Hazards of the business
When Lauren shows up for her date with Toby, she's propositioned by a strange (and gorgeous) man, who thinks she's a hooker. The nerve of that guy! Later, when Toby stands her up, the guy returns, apologizes for insulting her and then asks her if she's "working tonight." Lauren tells him yes. At the end of the evening the "gentleman" tells her he's not paying and knocks her around just to prove his point. To rub a little salt in the wound, hotel security tries to nab Lauren on the way out, but someone who we're assuming is a madam vouches for her. Later, Lauren calls her to inquire about employment opportunities. It's on now friends!

MP quotes

"Riley, the red carpet isn't the teacher's lounge." Ella

Lauren: "What do you think of the new landlord?"
Ella: "I can see the family resemblance. She's got Syd's fangs."

"Bras are for breeders." Abby Douglas

"My parents who adopted me weren't exactly Brad and Angelina." Violet

"I don’t think anyone has ever offered to destroy an enemy of mine before." Ella to David

What do you think? Do you think Jane is couture challenged? Tell us here!

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We know there are all sorts of delicious conflicts brewing on Melrose Place -- and one of the ones we're waiting for with baited breath is Ella vs. Riley! It's obvious that Ella is pining for Riley's man, so we asked the two actresses behind those characters what we can expect.

First Katie Cassidy talks about why Ella is the way she is around Jonah, what it's like to play the big bad bitch, and why Ella might be guilty of Sydney's murder:

Then, Jessica Lucas tells us what we can expect from her relationship with Jonah (hint: it wouldn't be Melrose Place if things went smoothly!) and whether we can expect Riley to put the smackdown on Ella. Plus, she teases that Riley might not be a teacher for long! Take a look:

What's your take on the clips? Do you want to see an Ella/Riley cage match over Jonah? Which of these ladies do you think Jonah should end up with? Talk about it in the comments!

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50 Ways to Trick Your Lover
Suspicions were aroused on all fronts. Vanessa had to wonder if Scott is really enrolled in school, while Dan had to question the strength of Georgina's stalking tendencies and Serena had to decide if Carter is back up to his old womanizing and boozing ways.

Dan should know better than to mess around with doe-eyed Georgina. Once a liar, always a liar. Despite agreeing to keep things casual, the posed Dan/Georgina pic on her computer desktop speaks volumes. Why doesn't she just update her Facebook relationship status already?

Scott blows his cover without putting up much a fight when Vanessa confronts him about not existing in the university's database of enrolled students. She almost spills the secret of Scott's family tree to Dan before Georgina interrupts, which is really a shame since that was Vanessa's one and only window to get the news off of her chest. Now she must harbor the truth like a fugitive. At least until "bat ears" Georgina broadcasts the information after overhearing Scott and Vanessa discussing the situation and booking a flight to Boston to play private detective. Whatever she uncovers, we're sure blackmail is on the agenda. And after Scott chickens out on confessing his true identify to Rufus, Vanessa, once again, loses the guy. It would be impossible to carry on a relationship when your close friends think your boyfriend is the brother of the child they put up for adoption when, in reality, he is that child.

Serena and Carter sitting in a tree...too bad that tree seems to include one-night stands, gobs of room service and unpaid hotel bills. Serena bolts at the first sign of drama until she discovers Carter's bad behavior was merely a set-up by Blair and Chuck. Normal friends would just badmouth an undesirable boyfriend behind his back -- we love that this power couple takes action. Although, Carter does seem to still have a few skeletons in his closet. Wonder what Bree's got on him?

Going Once, Going Twice

Has there been an episode where a large, societal function doesn't take place to bring all of the characters together in one spot? We're betting no. This time around, the famed auction house Sotheby's did the honors. Rufus tended to an item the absent Lily was putting up for auction while Chuck and Blair vied for the same photograph. Chuck needed to secure a business deal and Blair wanted it to gain access into a secret society. Both lost the photo to Serena due to their incessant bickering during the auction. All's well that ends well as Serena passed on the picture to Blair who passed it on to Chuck with a very sweet speech about believing in him. Turns out the whole thing was a sham anyway -- yet another devious plot hatched by Georgina. She created a fake invite for Blair and got her equally snotty assistant friend to convince Chuck he needed the picture to acquire the deal.

Bolstered by Blair's confidence, Chuck throws all caution (and cash) to the wind and decides to purchase a hotel with every piece of inheritance from Bass Industries. Let's hope Blair actually makes it class one of these days. If Chuck's master plan fails, she'll have to take on the role of breadwinner and that requires skills other than backstabbing.

What did you think? Does Georgina make your skin crawl or do you love the bad behavior? Did anyone notice in the previews for next week Nate seems to have his old hair style back? Thank goodness for small favors! What, exactly, do you think Georgina thinks she's going to accomplish in Boston?

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Not even trying to be bad-ass
Brooke and Millie both get a little snippy at Alex, but it's hardly bad-ass. And they're so busy fawning over the pictures that they don't seem to realize that Alex is trouble a-brewin'. Quinn is similarly broken-down rather than bad-ass -- yeah, she launches some sass at Clay, but she's too wimpy to take her husband's calls. Sigh. Poor Nathan was too beaten-down to be bad-ass, which we found disappointing.

Bad-ass wannabes
Mouth and Skills get into a battle of the reptiles -- Mouth leaves a lizard in the bathtub to freak naked Skills out, and Skills retaliates by putting a snake in Mouth's bedroom. Funny, but hardly bad-ass.

Alex tries for bad-ass as she circles around Julian, but come on -- once Brooke gets her bitch back, she will snap Alex in two. And both Clay and Renee try for bad-ass, but it's just not working for us -- Clay's moment at the end was too little, too late for us, since he seemed to advocate caving. And Renee? Beware the wrath of Haley.

They bad-ass, we know it
Haley got her mama-bear bad-ass on when she confronted Clay about the whole blackmail situation -- and Clay's sort-of role in making Nathan vulnerable. We do NOT want to make her angry!

Flashback Dan was still bad-ass to us, even though he was drunk, defeated and hanging in strip clubs. What can we say? He'll be bad-ass from beyond the grave (assuming Death ever works up the nerve to take him.)

Queen of all Bad-Ass
And then there's Rachel, who completely ruled the bad-ass boards this week. She went from stripper and prostitute to the mastermind manipulating Dan Scott -- and even throwing him off his game by hiring someone to bring up Dan's murderous past. She's cold, she's unrepentant, she's reveling in her own eeeeeeevil -- that's just the way we like her.

We have plenty of other questions beyond the bad-assery, of course -- why didn't Nate and Clay immediately demand a paternity test? Wouldn't that make Renee go away? Or hey, they could have her arrested for blackmail! Why didn't they do that? Sigh. We're also wondering if Julian will fall for Alex's script -- or Alex herself -- and we're pondering whether Mouth will be caught in the middle of the whole Nathan fracas. Plus, where did Mouth get the lizard, and did Skills hire Jamie as snake-wrangler? Reptiles aren't cheap!

What's your take on the ep? Talk about it in the comments!

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One Tree Hill is heating up, and we've got hottie Austin Nichols to give us some hints on who's throwing gasoline on the fire! Check it out:

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What we loved
Castiel
Every moment with Castiel was gold. There's his personal space problem ("My apologies"), his bad-assery in the face of Raphael ("Today you're my little bitch."), his inability to lie ("No, it'll be much worse for you"), and, most deliciously, his complete and utter terror in the bordello. Hee!

Lucifer
We admit it -- we're a bit dim sometimes. Even though we saw Lucifer use a dead loved one to seduce his first vessel, we were still shocked when Jess turned out to be the Archfiend himself. He's crafty! And once again, he was sympathetic, sincere, and utterly implacable. "I will never lie to you. I will never trick you. But you will say yes to me." We completely buy it.

There's more after the break -- read on!

Sam's resolve
You gotta admit, that boy's willpower is something to behold. Demon blood was literally forced into his mouth, but he still didn't give in to it. Wow.

Dean's priorities
So, you're summoning an archangel who will most likely smite the hell out of you. What's on your to-do list? For Dean, it's getting Cas laid. Hee!

What we're torn on
Dean's freedom
Dean casts a few longing looks at the empty passenger seat in the car, but he decides that it's really much better for him to be Sam free. The Bros Forever! side of us was appalled, but another part of our twisted Supernatural psyche could see his point. We really haven't seen him belly laugh... possibly ever. Now that he has a legitimate excuse to cut Sam loose for a while, he's taking advantage of it. We can't blame him for that... but we can't help but think (hope?) there's a whole lot of denial going on.

Sam's struggles
Poor, poor Sam. He's just trying to get his head back together, you know> He feels like he deserves to take a break, that it's better for everyone involved if he's not in the mix now. And we sympathize, we really do. But it is the apocalypse, so there's a part of us that thinks he's going to have to wait to be broken until after the rain of fire, etc. It sucks, but there it is.

Angelic rationalizations
We get it, watching the events of the 20th century unfold couldn't have been a picnic, but that's no reason to bring on the end times! But that's basically what Raphael says: "We're tired. We just want it to be over. We just want paradise." We often feel that way about big tasks -- at some point in every move to a new house, one of us suggests we just rent a flamethrower, torch everything we own, and start over rather than pack another damn box. But hello -- entire planet of people who will be killed! Take some No-Doz, drink some coffee and suck it up!

Sam and Dean: Angel Condoms
OK, so Dean is Michael's perfect vessel, and Sam is Lucifer's preferred body? What kind of messed-up genetics, not to mention bad luck, makes you the ideal meat suit for heavenly visitors? We know they're uncommonly handsome, and seeing one of them appear before us bathed in white light would make us give thanks to God, but are they really the only two people on earth that will do?

Favorite quotes:
It was a great week for fabulous lines. Here are some of our favorites:

• "You were wasted by a teenage mutant ninja angel?" -- Dean, on learning that Raphael was the archangel who smote him.
• "Last time you zapped me someplace I didn't poop for a week. We're driving." - Dean, on choosing the Metallicar over angelic intervention
• "I'm a riddle wrapped inside an enigma wrapped inside a taco." -- Sam, on his mysterious past
• "Let me see if I can think of the best hunter who might be in the immediate vicinity. Oh, that'd be you." Bobby, to Sam.
• "last night on earth - what are your plans?" "I just thought I'd sit here quietly." -- Dean and Castiel.
• There are two things I know for certain. One: Bert and Ernie are gay. Two, you are not going to die a virgin. Not on my watch." -- Dean, to Castiel.
• "This is a den of iniquity. I should not be here." "Dude, you full on rebelled against heaven. Iniquity is one of the perks!" -- Castiel and Dean

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The Good
Machinations
We love watching the brothers maneuver around each other. Damon wrangles an invitation to Elena's house, and Stefan counters with a vamp-blocking herbal locket. Well played, sir!

Grudging respect
Bonnie wants Elena to take it slow with Stefan -- intimations of death will do that to a girl. But Elena invites the two to dinner, and Stefan wins her over by putting the best possible spin on the Salem witches: they're "heroic examples of individualism and nonconformity." Hey, we'd like him too if he said that about us!

Then there's Matt, who's torn between hating Stefan for stealing his girl (and he still refers to Elena as his girlfriend during a heated exchange. Oops!) and being the nice guy he is. He finally comes around on the Stefan question when he sees our fave vamp defend Jeremy during a fight with Tyler. This will actually be problematic for Stefan, as Elena saw his palm slashed with a broken bottle, then saw it completely healed moments later. Eventually she's going to start putting the pieces together...

There's more after the jump -- read on!

Bonnie's reactions
We love that Bonnie remains so real, even with the psychic flashes. She's convincingly freaked out -- especially when she realizes that the numbers she's been seeing were what surrounded Tanner's body. We thing she should register a complaint to the psychic-flash department, though -- what good was the parking space number really going to do for her?

Caroline
We weren't particularly sold on Caroline to begin with, but this episode changed that. Her terror as she attempted to escape from Damon was heartbreaking, and we like to think that she was gone from school all day because it took a while for Damon to work his mind-whammy on her. But we're wondering if her mean-girl tendencies are stronger because of Damon's influence, or if this is her true self?

Damon's humanity
It is there! We see it when he's stroking Elena's cheek while she sleeps. It could have been a purely creepy moment, but instead, it turned into something sad and touching due to the look on Damon's face. Well done, Ian Somerhalder!

The Not-So-Good.
Football
We can't get around one nagging problem -- football is a bad thing for a vamp to play. First, he's going to have to keep his super-strength in check at all times to avoid ripping a defender apart. Second, when someone tries to tackle him and ends up bouncing off him like a brick wall, that's bound to cause comment. And finally, the rough-and-tumble game seems like a great opportunity to lose the ring that keeps him from turning into dust. And hey -- would they really let him wear what amounts to a brass knuckle on the field?

The adults
Apparently, there's only one, and he's (1) and ass, and (2) monster chow. Why would Tanner engage in a battle if wits with Stefan in the first place? Where the hell are Caroline's parents when she (presumably) brings home a guy to sleep with, and then gets chomped on? And will we ever meet this mysterious Grams of Bonnie's? At least Elena has a reason for being adult-free -- what's everyone else's excuse?

What's your take on the ep? Talk about it in the comments!

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Listen Now

After this week's episode of One Tree Hill, we're concerned: Has someone been dissolving stupid pills in Tree Hill's water supply? How else to explain why Brooke and Millie fell for Alex's transparent acting, why Nathan and Clay caved at the sight of an ultrasound, and why Julian's dad recognized the error of his ways after one pissy conversation? At least Dan's back -- and he's married to Rachel! Poing!

Listen to our One Tree Hill podcast for "What Are You Willing To Lose" and tell us what you think in the comments!

Check us out in iTunes and subscribe if you like what you hear:

Now you can add us as a friend on Facebook!

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For their first fashion show the girls head to Malibu where they model with a bunch of tall chicks and the winner of the challenge gets to be in an advertorial for Seventeen magazine. They all seemed to do really well, but the judges' overwhelming pick was Brittany. She got to select two friends to be in the shoot with her and she chose Laura and Kara. The girls did a prom dress shoot for Seventeen and it was adorable!

The real demon in the house?
While Bianca has been pegged as the evil gal of Cycle 13, we think there may be another ugly personality lurking -- Ashley. She seems to be talking smack about anyone to anyone who will listen. Then, when she spots Bianca at a low moment, she taunts her. Not cool.

But no one seems to like drama and back-stabbing like Lulu.

There's more... read on!

The "ish" shoot
The point of the girl’s photo shoot is for them to appear tall, tall, tall. At the shoot Jay coined a new phrase -- ish, as in, "That's pretty good...ish." He tried to pull the very best out of all of the girls, including Bianca. But regardless of how the girls did, Ashley and Lulu were happy to talk about them after. Those girls are poison!

A rough "ish" panel
Many of the girls had great photos but some of them didn't manage to make themselves look taller. Bianca was relieved that she was not in the bottom two (not even close!) but Lulu and Brittany were. Luckily for Brittany, Lulu just didn't cut it in many ways. While she was sad that she was eliminated, someone was even more bummed -- her gossip girl, Ashley.

No Miss Congeniality to speak of here
It seems like we had such a kind of nice bunch of gals last cycle that we're kind of taken by surprise this time around. Some of the girls are simply evil...ish. Or are they? Do you think that all of the back-stabbing and ugliness is for real or are the producers intentionally trying to make us hate some of the contestants? Tell us here!

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Listen Now

Gossip Girl goes to college, and everything goes topsy-turvy. Blair is determined to rule NYU -- but her subjects are already revolting, at the instigation of one Georgina Sparks. And to complete the bizarro-world turnabout, Dan is Big Man On Campus. Poing! Plus, Serena ditches Brown, Chuck gets crushed, and Jenny... is nowhere to be found. Is it time to start putting her face on milk cartons?

Listen to our Gossip Girl podcast for "The Freshmen" and tell us what you think in the comments!

Check us out in iTunes and subscribe if you like what you hear:

Now you can add us as a friend on Facebook!

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Best Battle: Naomi and Annie
These ladies are in a fight to the finish, and we'll be amazed if anyone survives. After Naomi denies all knowledge of the pic, Annie enlists the help of Mucky Mark to expose her. Mark tells the truth on Teddy's boat, which make Silver and Adrianna aghast. How could she? Now, if only Annie had rested on that victory and retreated to the moral high ground... but she had to keep pushing it. She begs Liam to go with her and tell Naomi the truth about what happened... then LIES that she and Liam had been sleeping together the whole time, sharing some post-coital Naomi mockery after every bout between the sheets. "Everyone you love just ends up loving me more," Annie says. "First Ethan, then Liam... who's going to be next?" A satisfying victory for Annie, but she may have ensured her own downfall -- now Liam is furious with her, and Silver, who overheard Annie's attack, is firmly on Naomi's side. Plus, now Annie owes Mark favors... and we can't help but think they're of the sexual kind. Ick!

Adorable Award: Navid
His mock interview with himself -- reporter Navid attacking, normal Navid answering -- had us just as smitten as Ades. Seriously, how can you resist the guy?

There's more after the break -- read on!

Good or Bad? We Can't Tell! Citation: Teddy
We just don't know about that guy. He seemed sincere when he told Navid he got kicked out of Exeter protecting his roommate, and Navid sure bought it. But has he just inherited his dad's acting skills? He certainly seems to be up to something when he makes his move on Adriana while poor Navid is puking into an ice bucket.

Mysterious Evil Lair Award: Liam
After the debacle on the boat, Liam retreats to his lair, which appears to be a basement workshop approximately the size of Montana. He's mad as hell and he's got blueprints. So... what the hell is going on? Is he planning on tunneling under Annie's house? We're intrigued!

Bad Idea Award
Dixon meets Sasha, the woman of his dreams, only to discover that she's older. As in, college grad, and we're assuming she didn't pull a Doogie Howser and matriculate at age 15. So what's a boy to do? Dixon plans to tell her the truth... eventually. Unfortunately, Sasha ends up being the DJ at Teddy's party, so ... all of a sudden he's a music exec, Navid is his assistant, and Navid's Lamborghini is his car. Silver graciously declines to out him as a LIAR, but she does launch a few barbs. And then Dixon realizes why Lying is Bad: Sasha decides they'll start their Sunday date on Saturday night -- but driving up to Napa in Navid's sweet ride. Doh!

When Harry Met Kelly
Debbie tries to deal with Annie in a kind and sensitive fashion, which Harry puts the smackdown on. Debbie protests, but Harry won't hear it -- at least, not until Kelly makes the same argument. THEN it makes PERFECT sense! Debbie objects. So Harry should think twice about making a lunch date/appointment with Kelly right? Right? Hello, is this thing on?

So, who's in for the biggest fall? Who's going ot cause the most trouble? Which plotline are you loving the most? Talk!

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Don't mess with the Doctor
As if stealing million-dollar art from the Mancini manor wasn't enough of an outlet for Daddy Issues, David vows to pin Sydney's murder on Michael...and he'll get him for helping Syd fake her death all those years ago while he's at it. This is all after he swiped his dad's keycard from the hospital and managed to tap into daddy's computer remotely, which reminds us -- who wants Michael Mancini to be their cardiac surgeon? Uh...not us.

But who, exactly, does David think he's dealing with here? Michael is the master manipulator and most talented, unabashed liar in the greater LA area (and that's saying something!). We have a feeling that guilty or not, Michael will eat David alive.

There's lots more after the break, so read on!

Paging Doctor Hooker
Michael agrees to hire Lauren as an intern on his team. Sure, she's got the grades and the dedication, but we all know he's adding her to his team to help him keep an eye on David. When Michael hires her, he makes it clear that she isn't to have her financial situation disrupt her work at the hospital. She vows to do whatever it takes to get the money. Looks like this lady doctor will be making some special house calls.

Hell's…er…wedding bells
Jonah takes photos of Riley as she thumbs through bridal magazines -- vowing to celebrate the moment. But his fiancé hasn’t even bothered to tell her family or friends that she is engaged. She finally makes the announcement at the end of the episode but after she took an entire day to say "yes" and then kept mum about the whole thing -- we think Jonah should run, screaming into the hills.

We want our MTV
Ella somehow works her magic and gets Jonah a gig as the director on a client's new music video when the original director hired walks -- makes that runs -- out. Jonah has zero experience, but how hard can it be? Apparently, very. He has a .45 pulled on him by Taryn, a the crazy-paranoid rock star/actress. But we've gotta hand it to Jonah -- he ends up pulling it all together. (Kudos also to Taryn Manning, who is happy to embrace the no-doubt completely out-of-character crazy when she plays "herself.")

Even though the label approved the storyboard, Jonah ultimately gets all "creative guy" and changes everything -- costumes, choreography, even the shooting process. And it works. He's a genius! Unfortunately, after the first director sees what a great job Jonah did, he takes the credit. Sadly, Ella is so nervous about keeping her job that she lets her boss throw Jonah under the bus. At least Jonah got paid.

Violet gets creepier
Lauren hears noises coming from Syd's apartment, and we start salivating at the thought of a vengeful Syd-spirit haunting the complex. Sadly, it's just creepy Violet, in the closet, trying on clothes. And what's with the attempted "gift" for Auggie? Did she steal those sunglasses from Sydney too?

Quotable quotes

• "You don’t have to convince me I’m good. I’m great." Ella
  
• "Relationships are complicated. Cooking comes with directions." Auggie
  
• "You want me in your life, you got it kiddo." Michael to his son David

Want to play a game?
We have to admit that there were a couple of scenes that left us scratching our virtual heads -- the sunglasses, the kiss, the dress! But the one that really had us freaking (and when we say freaking, we mean it in the very best way) was the scene at the end when David was spying on his father's computer. What do you suppose Michael is up to with all of those folders with tenants names (old and new!) on his computer? Everyone was there: Allison, Amanda, Jo, David, Ella, Auggie. What can the good doctor be doing? Tell us what you think here!

Posted by Jill at 12:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The Melrose Place news we've been hankerin' for finally came down officially today. Heather Locklear will reprise her MP role as the scheming, hottie Amanda Woodward on the new show. She'll join the newbies in her debut appearance on Tuesday, November 17.

Familiar faces on the Melrose Place Set
So far original cast members like Thomas Calabro, Laura Leighton, Josie Bissett and Daphne Zuniga have all announced their return. But according to Us Weekly it took seeing the pilot of MP2009 to get Locklear to sign on. The magazine is reporting that the star "...was surprised at how much she liked it." Well...yeah! Clearly, fans from the old show have joined new fans, making it one of the hottest new series on TV right now.

Dead Chick Walking
The only possible problem that we see with the return is that Amanda faked her death when the series ended in 1999. So it's going to take some crafty maneuvering by the MP scribes -- and we're not going to lie, we can't wait to see what they come up with! (Fortunately, they've had plenty of practice bringing stars back from the dead -- after all, Sydney rose from the grave, too!) We're bummed to hear that Locklear's real-life love Jack Wagner has no plans to return to the show as Peter, the very character who ran off with "dead" Amanda in the series finale. But we're hoping he will change his mind. Anything can happen -- when Locklear first joined the show back in the day she was credited as a guest star and that credit never changed.

The Powers That Be over at the C-Dub are keeping mum about exactly what Locklear's role will be, but if the first two eppies give us any indication, it's bound to be hot. What (and who?) do you think Amanda will be doing when she returns to MP? Tell us here!

Posted by Jill at 2:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Villain number 1: Renee
That would be the woman who's threatening Nate. She's got a tale of a wild party three months ago, and she's got pictures to prove her involvement with Nate. THose pics? An ultrasound of her three-month fetus. Nate and Clay immediately cave, which makes us wonder what the hell is going on: OK, fine, she's preggers, but who's to say the baby is his? Did fetus have Nate's abs or something? Whatever the reasoning, Nate decides to tell Haley what's going on. Hey, Nate? You want to tell us, too?

Villain number 2: Alex DuPres
This "hot" "talented" "actor" will be the new face of Clothes Over Bros -- and turns out to be an airhead drunk with verbal diarrhea. The problem? Millie signed a half-million contract with her without bothering to meet her first. Argh! What IS it with these folks and contracts and not talking to lawyers? Brooke is all for cutting ties, but then Alex pulls out a speech about how one of Brooke's dresses got her through rehab and makes her feel dandy, and Brooke caves. Unfortunately, it's a line from one of Alex's unproduced movies. Brooke just got played.

There's more after the break - keep reading!

Villain number 3: Record company beeyotch
FInally, a villain who can be easily vanquished! She wants to shut down Red Bedroom Records -- and break the building down for parts, which, wait, what the hell kind of contract gives her rights for that? -- but Haley has a brainstorm. Haley's got an unbreakable contract with the parent label... but Mia, who's their star performer, is signed with Red Bedroom alone. If they dissolve the label, she walks. Beeyotch caves -- but warns that corporate labels are soulless thugs. Thanks for the tip!

Villain number 4: Paul, Julian's father
Again we've got a big bad who can be handled easily. He flies into town to tell Julian he's an idiot for giving up his career, and that BRooke is a ho who will sleep around (ok, not exactly those words, but you get the idea.) But Julian hangs up a movie poster and reminisces about the one good day he had with daddy. Brooke reads Paul the riot act, Paul admits he's an ass, and they all live happily ever after. Until, of course, they don't.

There was more going on this week -- We discovered Dan is a motivational speaker with a book ("Scott Free Redemption"), a hot wife who is not Deb (and who is definitely using Dan for fame and glory), and possibly some actual good intentions. (He gives his book to an improbably hot homeless guy! What a prince!) We find out that Quinn and her hubby just grew apart -- nothing dramatic happened, but he's just not the man she married. And we find out that letting Jamie bury you up to your neck in the sand is a very, very bad idea unless you're wearing super-strength sunscreen. Let that be a lesson!

What's your take on the ep? Who's the biggest bad we're likely to encounter this season? Is Dan really redeemed? Will Brooke and Julian get hitched? How difficult is it to meet someone before you sign a $500,000 contract? Talk about it in the comments!

Posted by Sarah at 12:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBacks (0)

The Good

Dan never truly fit into the high school mode, but this new chapter in our favorite writer’s life looks promising and filled with vivacious females. In only the first few hours as a college freshman he's already got a fan accosting him in a coffee shop and snags an invite into a writer's group. (And is it just us, or is Dan sporting a buff physique these days? We can almost make out actual pecs underneath his sweatshirt.) Vanessa also seems to make a smooth transition from home-schooled bohemian to artsy collegiate -- with a little help from Georgina. We knew someone would eventually appreciate Vanessa's homemade documentary, but never expected a dorm room full of avid viewers. Although, we’d probably choose greasy pizza and the boob tube over Blair's stuffy sushi party too. Instead of using college as an excuse to turn over a new leaf, Georgina is once again up to her old tricks. Seems Jesus is not her homeboy after all. Only Blair sees through her façade.

The Bad

It's apparent that college is just not going to suit Blair. Limos, headbands and live-in maids don't exactly win friends. Things get off to a rocky start when Georgina appears as Blair's roommate. Let the catfight begin! Why Queen B would ever consider participating in dorm life in the first place is beyond us. Despite efforts to extend her reign at NYU, Blair falls flat. It's not like she can relate to these classmates in the traditional way: “Battlestar Galactica” vs. Barneys New York -- enough said.

Serena decides she'll forgo college even before she sets foot on the Brown campus. What is a wayward, trust-funded socialite to do? Get a job? Highly unlikely. She crashes at Chuck's until she screws up his business deal to open an elicit club masking as a restaurant and in turn Chuck squeals to Rufus about Serena’s whereabouts. See, they do behave like true siblings! Lily (if she wasn’t on maternity leave) would be so disappointed.

Romeo and Juliet...er, Nate and Bree spent the first day of class in bed pretending their connection is merely physical and not based on a deep mutual affection. Let's hope these star-crossed lovers never stumble across a friar or an apothecary.

The Ugly

Georgina throws a rooftop party just to exclude Blair. Dan takes pity on her and lets her tag along as his date. Vanessa brings Scott because the party needed an extra element of creepy to make it really pop. Blair secretly invites Georgina's former Jesus-freak friends to the bash in order to embarrass her nemesis and convince everyone to transfer the fun to a swanky bar of Blair's choosing. Dan becomes the center of attention when he calls Blair out on her scheme and defends Georgina’s honor (which is comical since the evil witch is void of all worth defending). Serena uses Carter to stick it to Chuck in yet another business transaction, but still manages to snog him into forgiving her. Dan wakes up from a drunken stupor the morning after the party and kisses Georgina in that we-totally-made-out-last-night-and-we’re-not-sorry-about-it-this-morning kind of way.

Whew! Stop, take a breath and think about all the back-stabbing and gross spit-swapping that just took place. What did you think? Does Georgina make your skin crawl? Will Blair ever find a like-minded spirit roaming the halls of her NYU dorm?

Posted by Janine Schaults at 11:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Listen Now

This week on Melrose Place, we discover that Ella is made of awesome, that Lauren knows how to get her bitch on, and that Sydney has a heart.. well, sometimes. We were impressed by the layers they gave Syd in this episode -- but even more impressed by Violet finally letting her crazy come out to play. The clothing? Not so impressed by that. What's the the Princess Leia hookerwear, Ella?

Listen to our Melrose Place podcast for the Series Premiere and tell us what you think in the comments!

Check us out in iTunes and subscribe if you like what you hear:

Now you can add us as a friend on Facebook!

Posted by Sarah at 11:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Listen Now

Tyra continues her Reign of Crazy on America's Next Top Model. This week, she's a superhero called SuperSmize, and... well guest judge Lauren Conrad wasn't the only one looking at her as if she were completely bonkers. Plus, a horrible surprise, an unjust elimination, and horses meet nakedness. Poing!

Listen to our America's Next Top Model podcast for "The Fortress of Fierceness" and tell us what you think in the comments!

Check us out in iTunes and subscribe if you like what you hear:

Now you can add us as a friend on Facebook!

Posted by Sarah at 11:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

What we loved
The creepitude
We've never been big fans of camping here at CW Sourceland. There's all this...stuff outside, like bugs and snakes and, and ... nature. Quite frankly, we find it disturbing. So we're perfectly happy to have another excuse to stay indoors, watching TV -- if you go camping, you'll just attract vampires, and no one want that.

But that was just he beginning of the creepy this episode. We were thoroughly freaked out by Damon's mental warfare campaign against Vicki. Poor girl! She's haunted by visions of a vamped-out Damon, and then Stefan appears to hit her with the vampire mind-whammy. The girl can't win!

Keep reading -- there's more after the jump!

The romance
Poor Stefan -- the object of his affection decides to Seize the Day romantically right when he's wiped out from vampire mind-whammy hijinks. Plus, that exposes Elena to Damon, who is perfectly happy to use the situation to sow seeds of doubt in Elena's mind.

So we were almost expecting this romance to hit the skids in the second ep out ... but we instead ended up with a nearly perfect kiss. Swoon!

Bluff-Calling, Part 1
We love that Jeremy told Vicki that he was the one who found her in the woods. We loved even more him confronting Tyler -- if you're so in love with Vicki, why haven't you been to the hospital? But what we loved most was Jeremy calling Tyler's bluff -- you want to fight? Fine, let's do it, right here, right now. And Tyler, or course, backed down.

Bluff-Calling, Part 2
Damon figured he had Stefan over a barrel -- you either have to feed on Vicki so you've got the strength to perform the mind whammy, or I'm going to set her lose saying your a vampire. But Stefan called that bluff -- fine, let her go and tell everyone what I am . "Let them chain me up and let them drive a stake through my heart," he says, "because at least then I'll be free of you." And Damon caves -- he may hate his brother, he may delight in tormenting him, but he can't seem to live without him.

Damon. Again
Seriously. We love him. He's evil and horrible and munching on Caroline when she's just looking for love, but we can't help but adore him.

What we're not so thrilled with
Mr. Tanner
We get it -- he's a schmuck. But does he have to be such an unrelievedly awful person all the time? He's just so one-dimensional!

Dear Diary....
Still not our favorite device. Yes, we know it's a big part of the books, but that doesn't mean we think it works well on TV.

Jeremy Acting Out
We know he's in pain. That's no reason to take it out on poor Jenna. And we know he's smitten with Vicki and doesn't want to hide it -- but that's no reason to brag about how they got it on over the summer. Sigh.

Favorite quotes:

Caroline reacts to Bonnie's news that her grandmother said the comet was a harbinger of doom: "Yeah, and then you poured Gram another shot , and then she told you about the aliens."

Carline pumps Elena for information on Stefan: "Elena, we are your friends-- you are supposed to share the smut!"

Elena meets Damon: "He didn't tell me he had a brother."
Damon: "Well, Stefan's not one to brag."

Damon evaluates Stefan's mind-whammy skills: "Not bad. Have you been eating bunnies?"

Caroline sees Damon: "I was hoping I'd see you again."
Damon: "I know."
Caroline: "Cocky much?"
Damon: "Very much."

Posted by Sarah at 3:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)