The CW Source

Was Navid always this naive? Navid got himself in a whole heap of trouble when he tried to plant cocaine in Jasper's locker. Why exactly did he think this was a good idea? You're a journalist, Navid; you find the evidence, you don't fabricate it. Good luck getting into Columbia's program with blow possession on your record.

Also, why did you think you could tangle with Jasper? He's a drug-dealer and he broke your arm. Clearly, he has a few tricks up his sleeve.

Was Naomi always this dumb? We know Naomi was cast as the spoiled, naive rich girl, but yesterday was just painful. From buying Ivy a Fendi baguette (we at the CW Source feel you should not tease us with that word unless you're talking about actual French bread -- and you have enough for us), to giving Adrianna a rum and coke, to her treasure trove of idiotic word vomit ("I thought it was another Chinese scam like tai chi or acupuncture!"), she was just a ludicrous mess. Is it a rule on network television that the blond bombshell has to play up her hair color? Because we object to that misnomer.

But she was definitely good for some laughs. Lightening up these teen soap operas is what the CW does best and we can't get enough. The weather is cold here. We need something to brighten up our day.

Was Dixon always this shifty? Dixon was all over the moral map last night. First of all, he lies to Silver and agrees with her that their kiss was a mistake. Then he lies to Teddy and tells him that they're probably going to get back together, which there definitely had to be a more tactful way of doing. Then he tries to win Silver back my asking her to "just forget everything he said" when they were breaking up. Words exchanged during breakups are hard to forget, Dixon, and you haven't exactly proven yourself a trustworthy friend, either.

On top of all this, he finally agrees to help Navid plant the drugs in Jasper's locker. At least this we can kind of understand, since Dixon changed his mind to protect Annie. But we still wish we knew what was going on in that head of his.

Sidenote: Why are students allowed to kick box and told to aim for "near the groin"? That just seems like a disaster/lawsuit waiting to happen. We get that it elevated the drama of the scene, but that could be demonstrated with any competitive activity. Basketball scrimmage, Hungry, Hungry Hippos; just something that doesn't involve delivering round-house kicks.

Was Adrianna always such a boring kisser? We have the answer to this one: No, she was not. As we recall from her other partners, she's a great kisser. So why would she bother to sit on Gia's lap only to kiss her like a seven-year-old boy who pecks his crush after pulling her pigtails? If you're going to try and make Gia's ex jealous, you should at least put some effort into it. We're really hoping that a more interesting exploration of teen sexuality is in the works. These are big issues, let's talk about sex, baby.

Was Jasper always giving you the "Fear" vibe? Because we were definitely feeling the Mark Wahlberg/Reese Witherspoon thing in this episode. There is something very sinister brewing in Jasper, who showed Annie his true colors when he essentially blackmailed her into staying with him. Along with all the "love you forever" texts and random violent outbursts, we're fairly certain this plot line is going to come to a rolling boil.

All in all, it was a pretty satisfying episode. It hit the ground running with lots of dramatic sub-plots and plenty of opportunities for the characters to get themselves into trouble for our amusement. Whether or not that gets old and results in us screaming at the television screen in exasperation like we do with Serena van der Woodsen is a mystery for the time being.

Other points to note:

• We know that Debbie is a mom and therefore nosy as hell, but helping Kelly find a man is only going to backfire. Like everything else on this show.
• Did Teddy have to lay the player thing on so thick with Silver? We know he's trying to help her get over him and help his friend get back together with her, but the player monologue was just hurtful. It's called "letting her down easy." Look into it.
• We totally remember playing Ivy's "I'm just the friend and I don't like you like that" cool thing. It never works out, kid; go for the jugular.
• About Naomi and the flasher coat: Really CW? Two naked bodies under coats in one week? By the way, Serena pulled it off much better, since she actually attended her event clothed to begin with, whereas Naomi looked like Carmen Sandiego on a hot date.
• Scratch hot date. "House call."